feeling a bit nostalgic...

ahh.. I went on facebook today, and saw a lot of pictures of UWEC scenery on a friend's photo page... As I looked at a picture of "The Bridge", I could almost feel the chilly air on my face and my legs as I walked across the bridge every day last school year... I remember standing on the wooden steps behind McPhee, just looking at the spring buds and how beautiful they were... taking pictures of the snowy prettiness of the hillside in January... rushing to get to class on-time. I remember the one time I fell down going down the hill... and how I avoided the hill on all icy days after that. I remember the mural in the hallway of my dorm, and the new one we put there nearing finals week... and I remember all of it... all of the wonderful experiences... and I miss them.
I miss the school atmosphere, the school classes, learning,... the beauty of Eau Claire.. the freshness of it all... the feeling of freedom of being on my own and being responsible for myself... I miss it. And yet, I don't want it back... because along with it went the confusion of not knowing why I was really there, not knowing what I was going to do with my life, and what on earth I should actually major in.
Now, however... I have my CNA, I'm working at a nursing home... and I have a LITTLE more of an idea of what's next... even if a lot of it is wishful thinking. I know what I want in my slightly more distant future... even if I don't know what I want to have happen next month...
I want to take a massage therapy program somewhere... and ooh... I just discovered that CVTC has a program open... but.. . I think it starts in August, and not January. grr... I want to start in January... but... I suppose that if August is the ONLY time I can start... then... hmm... I wonder.

It seems that everything I find tells me "August"... "In August there'll be an opening"... "In August you can get into the pharmacy technician program there"... "In August", everything is open right now in Eau Claire at the CVTC. And I want to take both programs.. the pharmacy tech, and the massage therapy... however, it seems like I have a glitch around here... impatience. Not wanting to wait around for the massage therapy stuff... wanting to be done with school NOW... while at the same time, wanting more school...

confusion still does exist for me... but now it's because I have too many appealing options, and difficulty choosing the BEST answer from among them...