Rememberings...

Yesterday I opened up my Gmail account to a very specific collection of messages. They were all of the ones I've ever received from Eric. (Yes, Eric.. I have them all... I hope that doesn't scare you...) I went back to the beginning of the file... and started reading. It was so neat to look at how I have grown, and how so much has changed since the early days of knowing Eric.. to now. Yes, I met him in person in June... and it hasn't been all that long chronologically since then... but let's see... the first contact I had with him was January 31st... :-) And since then, it has been awhile.
Reading what Eric wrote to me, and what I wrote to him... I saw that we really did manage to maintain a friendship-only relationship throughout the time before June 12th.. the day I arrived at camp... Then a week into camp, came the question... "Where are we going with this? What do you want out of this right now?"... and my answer, "I am waiting to be pursued..." and thus the pursuing of Danette began.. :-) Through the summer I came to know Eric closer and better... and began to love him. I thought hard about everything that was happening to me... was I infatuated, or was I being foolish? Or was it just reality that I had found my prince? I wrote a blog post about my confusion, quite awhile back.. I believe it's titled "Love..."
Farther and farther into the summer... I discovered that I had indeed, found my prince. He was willing to protect and encourage me... and he did so on several occasions. He was and is a complete gentleman, and I felt like a princess around him. I was able to be utterly comfortable around him, and felt like if it were prudent, I could be comfortable with telling him anything... (though I refrain somewhat because he is not YET able to be my closest confidant and friend... because there's a certain ceremony that has to precede that.)
So much has happened in my life this year- from the venturing off to college last fall, to dealing with living with my grandmother, to living in the dorms, and having a biblestudy with girls my age, to really having a social life for the first time, to being on my own, being independent for a semester... to meeting Eric, and working at camp, and all that went along with it- good and bad- and growing to love him so much it hurts- as I wait impatiently for the time when I get to see him again- sometimes I miss him so much I want to cry (and occasionally shed a few tears)... and when I talk to him, I often wish I could reach through the phone line and give him a hug... (or maybe have WonkaVision, and be transported through the television...though perhaps at much less of a size reduction)
This year I was the vice president of an organization, I organized buying our pro-life t-shirts and gave the idea of bracelets to Carla... I shared my burdens when family was going through difficult situations and circumstances, and prayed with the many Christian friends I had.
It was amazing how many Christians there are at UWEC... I sorely wish I could be back there... but at the same time I know God has another plan for me... and UWEC isn't part of it. It was a part- a very important part.. but now it's over... and this next part seems to be one in which I learn how to survive the dry time when I don't have the same level of fellowship, the same environment... and perhaps a time of me dealing with my pride and hurt stemming from us leaving Calvary in Barron- with the no-contact from members, and the rejection I felt when none of the kids seemed to be friendly when I saw them... though to begin with, I always felt like I was on the outside... never the inside. At school, I got the greatest blessing when I had people tell me "don't be cautious about sitting with us at dinner- if we're here, you're welcome." I had been eating by myself for quite awhile- all because I was too concerned about intruding on the others... It meant so much to me to have people invite me to do things with them- and it made me feel wanted and included... that's one thing that seems kind of missing here back at home- Kimmy invited me to go with her on her errands to Rice Lake today. That was nice... but not the same.... and she's only one person.