lacking...

I seem to be lacking "normal" post subjects... and I must apologize, I've currently nothing so "thoughtful" to post as I did before...

There IS something about fire that I wrote a couple of weeks ago.. here that is...

----I was sitting in front of the campfire tonight, watching the embers ripple and glow in the flames. The fire danced in the firepit, and Brita and Hanne giggled as they rolled in the grass tickling each other. The crickets chirped in the night, but the bugs generally stayed away from the heat of the fire. The radiant heat felt good on my face, and I almost wished that there was another fire behind me, so that all of me could be bathed in the toasty warmth that emanated from the pit. It was so beautiful. So deadly and dangerous fire is... and yet it is delicate looking, and gorgeous.
It makes me think about how similarities may be drawn from that, to relationships. A fire is good for warmth, but if it gets out of hand, it can burn down forests. What was so trusted inside a campfire ring is deadly, dangerous, and destructive if it gets out of control. Our passions have been likened to a flame, and I see that is a very accurate depiction. If we do not take measures to contain our passions properly, they can be as destructive as the flame that spread into a wildfire and destroyed forests. Without restraint, we can be easily tempted to go too far in our physical and emotional relationships, and without guards set beforehand, these passions can take control and things can happen that we really come to regret.



And now something new.

There is an apple tree in my yard... It is very old, weathered,with gnarled branches, but full of fruit. It has had a very long, somewhat eventful life... Branches have died, a storm ripped off a whole half of the tree, part of the trunk rotted, birds have attacked its apples... and every year, we go and pull the apples it has worked so hard to grow off the tree for harvest. Its roots are deep, its fruit beautiful, and the tree is quite hardy.
In our lives, we come across so many things that are difficult, or hurtful, or unpleasant... but through these, God can take us, and grow us, and teach us things. When the apple tree was small, it had weak roots, could not bear much fruit, and could not survive very much in the way of harsh elements. As it grew, it became stronger, the roots dug deeper and were anchored more sturdily, and its fruit became more abundant. One day, the tree was lush and beautiful, bearing much fruit... and then the storm came. Half the tree was destroyed. Some of its branches died. Birds pecked holes in its beautiful apples... and yet, the tree continued to grow. It stood resolutely in the yard. The master gardener many times, considered uprooting it and throwing it into the bonfire... but each time, the tree would produce more fruit than the master gardener expected, and the tree would be spared. After all of the damage that the tree sustained, it only produced more fruit. It became stronger through the trials and tests, and more productive. You see, it was pruned. We had not pruned it in our entire lives, but God pruned the apple tree, when he sent that storm through... It was a rather drastic job of pruning, but it was necessary, and improved the tree.
When we have hard things happen to us, when we have our "branches", our hopes and dreams and plans crumble, what does it do for us? When a major disaster comes through our lives, and we cannot understand why, how do we react to it? The apple tree reacted to the storm with growth and strength... Are you willing to let God grow and strengthen you, amidst disaster?

Class...

Though I am very happy that I am getting to take my CNA class right now... I miss UWEC! I miss the English classes, and the giggling and having fun with friends down the hall, and the being free to do as I saw fit, and going to Bible-study with my Christian friends, and going to Jacob's Well church on Sundays, and going out to coffee with my grandmother on Wednesdays, and always being busy, or having some down-time as well, and the sense of community, etc...etc...etc...... It was so much fun. And so growing. And now I am back here, at home. Or rather, the home I grew up in.... I don't exactly fit the same way anymore. And I don't even want to consider that if I am still around after Brita goes to college... I will REALLY not fit... and feel lazy, and etc...etc...etc...

I think it's good for me to be here at home... because it makes me grow and learn in different ways... Especially patience. I am having to learn patience... though somewhat involuntarily. I don't want to wait around for an indefinite amount of time for my Daddy to tell me what he thinks of Eric. I don't want to have to wait, to have to have the time pass, for me to finish classes. I just want to have my credentials now, and be done... But I am waiting... I am learning patience... and it will continue, I suspect, until I have learned it.

On the brighter side, God has been moving a lot of things in my path to be there precisely right... I believe that the CNA program was what He had for me... I learned in class the other day, that this class generally has a waiting list, and it can be hard to get into at times... I decided to take the course some time in the end of July... and had no problems getting in. I am surprised that this is so, and all I can chalk it up to, is that I am following an acceptable path, and God is enabling me... I also learned that to get reciprocity for my CNA in another state, there's basically a form to fill out... and that's it. And my massage therapy program lets me become a nationally-registered massage therapist... so I won't have problems with that transferring....

I just finished reading "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris... I was surprised with it. I expected that the book would basically say "Don't go out on a "date" by yourselves"... and to completely submit to parental authority concerning relationships, and a whole lot of other stuff similar to that. But it doesn't. It says "Don't act in a way that isn't backed up by your level of commitment,"..."alone-time as a couple is important... but don't make ALL your time this way".... "Make your choices with counsel... but that doesn't mean you are to let your counsel make your decisions for you... YOU are the one that needs to have faith and be willing to marry another person... We are called to honor our parents- and that means listening to their counsel and considering it carefully... But since we are adults, we are not obligated to OBEY our parents in all things anymore... "... so... wow. It was different than expected... and it was refreshing. That the same guy who wrote "I kissed dating goodbye" is not saying that you cannot essentially "date" someone else... just not recreationally, or without serious intent. Courtship is another name, basically, for dating with a goal in mind- to determine whether or not a person is the one you will marry. It's not a rigid set of rules, but a mindset- and I found that really interesting to read, and made me go "wow... I can handle that..."... and made me realize that we haven't been doing anything really that different from Joshua Harris' book...
So it also helped me realize that I have been going about having my parents' approval in the wrong way... at least, I think so right now..... I desire their approval, but it is not so incredibly vital that it is impossible to proceed without it. I desire it, and I am giving them a chance to grant it... and I will listen to their advice concerning my relationship... but unless their concerns are valid and biblical ones... I do not have to follow the advice. It makes me relax and remember that there are still MY choices... not my parents... and though I love them, and desire to honor them, ultimately, it will not be their decision...
I hope my post doesn't worry or scare anyone who's been reading it... :-) but oh well if it does. So... bother me about it? You're welcome to, if you think it's necessary.

~Danette

Every day...

You know that song "Day by day"... Part of the lyrics go, "Day by day, and with each passing moment, strength I find, to meet my trials here" Well... that's what's been happening for me lately... If it wasn't for that grace and strength, all of life would seem so overwhelmingly busy and frustrating and difficult... But..."....His promises, they fail not.....no cause for worry or for fear" When I can put my worries in God's hands, he who promised never to leave me or forsake me, and he who cares more than anyone else about all of my silly little problems and struggles... and the God, who gives us abundantly more than we ask, can help me to overcome my struggles and problems, relax in the safety of his care, and bask in the sunshine of his love. It doesn't matter now, if I have to wait for something I've been looking forward to... God is in control, and knows what's best for me. It doesn't have to bother me that I don't know what's happening for sure beyond today, or that I don't have an idea of what's happening beyond Christmas break... Whatever happens, will be in God's perfect timing.
I should mention that I am writing this as much to tell about what I have, as to remind myself of it... I try to plan things too far ahead, and think too far in advance about what is to come, and get overly concerned about it when I don't need to be. But I'm working on it. And He's working on me. :-)

Time, and waiting.

Sometimes it seems as if we are called to wait... to let time pass, before a certain thing can come into being... and other times, we're told "Don't waste your time!" or, "hurry- don't waste time now," or, "You're wasting time- don't wait for life to come to you.. go get it!"...
The question is, which times are best to wait and let time float by, and which situations should we take as they come at us, and run with them? There are a lot of things that I've experienced, in which it's best to just sit and wait for the right time or person or place for something... I did wait for a very special person to enter my life... but now, what kind of waiting do I need to do? If I already know who this special person is, and I know what I am willing to do for, and go through with this person... why wait indefinitely for the end that the two of us see as coming? I feel like there have been two choices- one a straight path to the edge of the unknown... the other a winding wiggly path, to the same place. If I know that's to be my destination... is there any reason to prolong the journey? But yet, this path that I must take seems to have checkpoints along the way... no shortcuts allowed. I must stop at the first checkpoint and receive permission and approval, before my travel-permit is stamped and given over to me, to continue my journey to the next checkpoint... and on it goes... and then I get to the end of my walking path, where I must wait for someone to come and invite me to continue on in their company...
...with all of this journey taken with only a general guidebook, and my Saviour helping me along the way.
I feel like there is that other, that straight path, which is out of bounds... which I would have to circumvent that first checkpoint to reach... and I would get to my destination much earlier, much less patiently, with less waiting... but when I would reach it, I would be in an entirely different state of being than by following the checkpoints and the rules, because I would reach it having broken the law that was set forth for me, and that which I have agreed to abide by.

I hope I have been properly abstract in this post... and yet.. that the right people will know who and what I am talking about... (if you think you're one of those right people, and you don't get it... email me. I'll explain.
Love,
Danette

Long walk...

Whew!

I am finally back from my walk.. .I left right around 1:20... and I just got back... I walked up through Hillsdale and turned on the road that parallels Hwy 25 behind our property, (and someone else's in between ours and the road), and then after walking the length of that road back to where our property would be on the other side, I walked back, through the field of pine trees, and back into our property... except, and I always do this when I try going BACK through the woods...I get turned around inside those woods, and come out somewhere NOT where I thought I would... So I walked through the woods, ducking under branches and dodging brambles, (and walking through some spiderwebs, and having leaves and bugs bop me in the face..) up hills and down valleys, and finally, made it to the edge of the woods. Except it was the edge of the woods that was next to someone else's field... not ours. And I felt bad wandering through someone else's field to get to the road, and back to my house... so I just headed back up into the woods... albeit this time with a much better bearing on my location and which direction I needed to go... So then I just walked (hey, through some less brush-filled parts of woods... lots of pine trees had killed off most of the underbrush) through the pine trees and maple trees and oak trees and aspen trees and fir trees and poplar trees, and deer bushes and goldenrod and briars and thorn trees, and back towards home... When I got most of the way past the other person's field, the woods got a little messier, (the goldenrod and briars and thorn trees... plus some additional ancient barbed wire fence, and some more underbrush,) so I walked at the edge of the field, (through all of the goldenrod that was nearly as tall as I am... and the dead crunchy stuff, and thistles, and milkweed and grass... long grass.) until I got to the end of it, which is the border between our neighbor's property, and ours. So then I was back on our land.. and walking through the very thick alfalfa hay field, and picking a few flowers off the alfalfa as I went... to join the black-eyed-suzans and miniature daisies and other flowers that I found along my way.. (well.. all of them got found in the last stretch.. walking through the goldenrod I found the black-eyed suzans, and the daisies were in our alfalfa field... ) ... Now they're in a mason jar and look pretty...
Other than a couple of scratches on my legs, (and I think, a bit of sunburn) I am in one piece... but I remembered now, why I don't normally go walking that direction THROUGH the woods for exercise... it's really GOOD exercise... but not quite as fun as I'd like... partially because of all the gnats and mosquitoes and spider-webs, (and me walking face-first into them, and wondering if I've then got a spider on my head...)... But it was pretty out there.
And sorry... I didn't take any pictures, because it was cumbersome to bring my camera, and have to carry it the whole time.
Maybe next time
(oh... here is one added for your enjoyment post facto...

~Danette