Things about me...

1. I like giving people things. I love having occasions to give people gifts... I don't have to receive a lot of them... but I love giving them to people. I had an enormous amount of fun the other day, assembling a box of goodies to send to Eric... because as I was finding things, I was thinking about how he would like them, what he would think when he opened the box, whether he'd appreciate some of the stuff I put in there... and what I could do to make it more special... It wasn't till I was shopping that I remembered some of his likes and dislikes... (i.e. looking at things with chocolate because he likes chocolate... but this one and that one, that looked good... also had nuts in them... and he said he didn't like nuts......and "ooh... I know he likes that...") and it was fun... hunting for things... and thinking about him...

2. Music is important to me. Whether I am driving along in my car by myself, or sitting at my computer at home, or taking a walk... Music is important in my life. It calms me down sometimes when I am frustrated or upset, it relaxes me when I am stressed, I sing my praises to God with it, and I enjoy it.

3. Sometimes I upset people on accident... I don't mean to, but it happens. I am a sensitive person, and it makes me sad to know that I upset someone. But it hurts more to upset someone, and then find out later that I did so, than it does for them to tell me right away. I still don't like knowing I hurt someone... but knowing is better than not knowing.
Some of the time this upsetting people is done, though inadvertently, because of selfishness... I push too hard or complain about something when I shouldn't... and someone's feelings are hurt. And then, especially if it's someone I love a lot... it makes me sad. It brings tears to
my eyes on occasion.

4. I like to plan things. This gets the best of me sometimes... I plan things, look forward to them, pay a lot of attention to them, and then have them crumble... after spending too much energy in them... Or, alternately, I plan something, and then, because I planned it, feel obligated to stick with it... like when I was a nursing major at UWEC. I would have been willing to stick with that major and everything through the end of my school stuff... and getting my degree... all because I COULD, and could enjoy learning, and taking the classes.... but when I got out of school... I would have a degree, yes, but not necessarily for any other reason than "I followed through." Or any of a multitude of times in my life... when I make a decision, I have this thing about sticking with them... it's probably both good AND bad...

5. I can't always communicate things the way that I mean them. If I have an awkward topic to broach, if I can't manage to bring it up properly, and it comes out kind of passively... it's still something important to me... and I just couldn't communicate it right. Sometimes I write something and it's perceived differently than it was meant... but generally, that means I didn't look at it enough afterwards to see if it was expressed properly.

6. I am somewhat of a perfectionist. This is sometimes expressed by me working very hard to do a task correctly, and also by me desiring and expecting other people to do the same. Sometimes it can be hard for me to comprehend that other people do not share my work ethic and the need I have to get a job done right. Sometimes I give myself too much stress, by choosing to do things myself, rather than ask for help, when I know that another person would not care as much about doing it right. I would rather take a long time doing a job well, than run over it quickly and have my boss look at it later and see how bad it was. Sometimes this characteristic disappears temporarily when I'm at home with my parents, and sometimes I find myself being quite careless... whereas if I was working at a business, or at camp, or somewhere else, I would be doing my best. This is a reality, but not one that I am trying to excuse.

7. I am an overachiever. I often worked too hard at college last year, because I would be set on studying WELL, and doing everything precisely right. As time went on, I learned that I could sometimes skip the studying, and STILL get the A... depending on the class... If I got less than an A, I was disappointed, and scolded myself for not working hard enough... because I know I can do well enough to get As. If I got too many grades that weren't an A... (like that most of my quizzes in my ANTH 315 class were 16/20 and 17/20... which look like such small numbers when I look at them, along side all of the red squiggles on the paper) I began to worry that I wouldn't get a very good grade in the class.... (in the aforementioned class, I ended up getting an A after all...) It's almost... disappointing that my CNA class is not requiring much brainpower work at all... very simple things my teacher says, and teaches... and the tests are easy... and I feel like I always know the answers to the teacher's questions... and then I try not to answer them, so I don't look like a know-it-all... *sigh*

8. I like lists today.

9. I started another blog, called "Ispiratio"... It is the more thoughtful/devotional type writing I've done.
:-)

10. I will continue with lists another day. For now, this is enough.

... Danette