kôrismos

Synopsis

2010-04-17T15:39:00.000-05:00

So, i realized today that i hadn't posted the latest synopsis on this site.

1. I have no boyfriend, as of Feburary 9th 2010. He broke up with me because he couldn't agree with me on the importance of doctrine in selecting one's church... and since I disapproved of his choice to switch over to the lutheran church, he broke up with me.

2. I am a senior! I am in my second-to-last semester of Nursing school, and I only need nine credits more of Nursing classes in order to graduate.

3. I think I'm getting close to being able to be in a relationship again. It's been over two months now, and i am not sure whether the risk for rebound is over... but i hope I get over it soon.

4. I am going to work as a counselor at Wood Lake Bible Camp this summer.

5. I am going to volunteer at Christ Community Clinics, way out in Memphis, this summer.

6. I have made more friends and met more guys that might like me this semester than in the rest of my life put together... go figure. I'm not really ready to be looking that hard though, and so I'm leaving them all relegated to the realm of "friends" at this point.

7. well, i'd write more but i don't know what to write.

~Danette

Elephant!

2010-03-22T12:40:00.001-05:00

I am crocheting an adorable elephant... this is what he will look like when he is done.

He is going to be a baby present for a friend's kid when he/she is born in September or October.

Hello again, world

2008-11-23T18:26:00.003-06:00

It has been a very long time since I posted on my blog, and I have decided I should get back into the swing of things.
A lot has happened since August- whew! It is the sunday before Thanksgiving, and I am about to begin another hectic week. I have a pot of beef stew on the stove, dumpling mix in a ziploc ready to put in as soon as John calls me to tell me he's on his way over, and I am relaxing for a few minutes, to not do homework or cook.
One of my next projects in my NRSG 240 class is scaring me- it's a full-blown physical assessment- so that means that I get to assess one of my classmates- and they get to assess me. We don't do private areas (no genitourinary tract, or the south end of the GI tract) of the body- but basically anything else is up for grabs- I'm not sure about breast tissue though- because someone told me we don't do that in class on each other- but then it's in the list of things we could be tested on- so it just might be. *shudder*
I wrote a 10 page paper recently on polio- now I have to do a case-study on an organism for my microbiology class, so I think I'm going to pick polio for that too- though the idea of the case study is to talk about how you treat the disease, etc- and polio isn't really all that treatable... but oh well- the teacher didn't tell us what we couldn't choose. lol.
I am trying to think who I should invite to come eat soup with John and I- I was thinking of inviting someone else, since otherwise I'll have a LOT of leftover soup... though, then again...I can eat it tomorrow, and maybe Tuesday, and Wednesday and... yeah.

----
Getting back to this- the soup was good, and I have lots of leftovers... I invited Erina, and Cindy- but neither of them were available- so I end up having too many leftovers. :)

Lately...

2008-08-16T16:41:00.005-05:00

There's so much.... so much that's happened since January...

I finished my first semester in the nursing program- and bought a stethescope.
I went to the Viennese Ball with John.. that was soooo cool. Not only was I at the ball... but I actually had someone to go with, and it was really cool. :) I felt really pretty!
I spent my summer working at Camp Chetek, along with my boyfriend, John. It was an interesting summer... I think it was kind of discouraging compared to last summer, in a way- sometimes it felt like people were really cliquish... because most of them came from Maranatha, or the Maranatha Academy.. and because I wasn't from there... or even from a Christian college... sometimes I felt like I was really on the outside. Added to this was the challenge that I was given by John, that my focus needed to be campers... that it didn't matter what staff were doing.. and it didn't matter if it was "fun" to hang out with staff.... because my real purpose at camp was ministering to campers. That was hard... but worth it in the end I think.... it's just that overall, I'm not sure that working at camp was all that spectacular... and it'll probably be my last summer that I do so, before I get my RN.... the only way I'll likely be coming back is as a nurse... and probably as someone who's married- or at the very least, someone who is not dating someone at camp. It's a bit stressful...
Through a number of circumstances and failings on our part... John and I are struggling a little bit right now... but God is amazing and gracious... and in the aftermath of things that are tough, He's showing us how much MORE He wants for us, and how much He wants us to grow. Things are going to be a bit tough for aawhile.. but we're seeing God's faithfulness, forgiveness, and love.
I got into Chancellors' Hall this fall! I was 78th on the waiting list after I applied in November... but last month I got a call from the housing people saying there was an opening, and asking if I wanted it. I could hardly believe it. I've been wanting to get off of the campus meal plan ever since I got stuck with it to begin with... and this is just cool. It also solves any problems I would have with finding a place to stay for the summer next year- because I can have a 12 month lease, and have it all summer, too.
It has been decided by the nurse practitioner at the UWEC health services center... that I probably have something called PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. This condition means that my estrogen and progesterone levels are all messed up because my ovaries don't work properly- and that means that as a result, without outside intervention, I have a high risk of uterine cancer. Enter in hormone pills to induce some menstrual stuff,some supplements to encourage my body to metabolize insulin better, and fine-tuning my diet to reduce my weight and manage insulin levels- which are connected somehow- it's not diabetes... but insulin resistance is involved in it in some way- though it's one of those chicken-and-egg dilemmas... being overweight, having PCOS, and insulin resistance are all interestingly intertwined here... and too much insulin results in my body converting some of it to androgen (the male kind) hormones... and then that royally confuses my body... *sigh* and I still have to go through some blood tests and stuff to determine that I have it.... but the nurse practitioner thought my chances of having it were about 99%.... so.... yeah. What I don't like is that it MAY mean that I have to go to a lower-carb diet... eww. I like crackers and bread and chips and salty stuff! Making it all worse is this bit of kind-of-high blood pressure that goes along with it- another symptom/result thing... so... reducing salt and exercising more....
Hmm... what else to say..... I'm going to school again soon- I move into my dorm on August 30th... and I need to go shopping for school supplies still. My room is a disaster area because I haven't decided to pack things yet... I'll probably wait til the last possible week to do that....
Being off of the meal plan this semester is going to be cool, because it's going to help me eat better, and control my weight... and having a kitchen, and a living room, and a bathroom and a room all to myself... is going to be cool.
I have been reading this book called "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge... is amazing. I read it and re-read it again... because it's sooo real, when it comes to women, and how we work. Not only how the devil tempts us, but also how God created us- the desires He gave us.. the way He created us to work, and the Question he gave us that we ask and want an Answer to, once and for all... it's really cool, and with the recent struggles I've been going through... it's been really amazing.. God knew I needed it right now- because I've owned the book for over a year, and it's only in the last week, when I needed it, that I picked it up and decided to read through it... not for a whole year since I bought it.. and I didn't expect it to help me when I picked it up... but... it's really convicting!
Anyways... I think that's about all I have to say right now... Pray for me, that God would keep working in me, and that He would just guide me through this bit of a bumpy maze right now... and also that He would continue to work in John's heart as well. Also pray that this health stuff of mine will get all sorted out and I will be able to have some sort of decent solution for it.

Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might!

~Danette

Thoughts...

2008-01-06T12:26:00.000-06:00

I realized it has been a very long time since I have written on here, and a lot has happened in my life in the last few months. It's exciting to see God working in me and teaching me things!

I got into the nursing program! My acceptance letter came this past Friday.. .yay! :)
Sometimes I forget to be patient and wait for God to direct me... but this time, I waited... and He showed me nursing.. and now I was accepted into the nursing program! :)

Beautiful....

2007-10-25T00:24:00.001-05:00

I just thought this picture was gorgeous. My boyfriend John took it, when we were at Devil's Lake National Park with a group of people from InterVarsity Christian Fellowship this past Saturday. :)

So.....

2007-10-19T16:14:00.001-05:00

It's been quite a long while since I wrote on here, and so much has happened. I've been in school, and doing homework and whatnot almost constantly... and in my off-times, I've got to have FUN.... like singing in the worship team at InterVarsity, and being involved in a biblestudy, and a couple of weeks ago, I got to visit a very special person who goes to school in Madison. Details are still light, because we're going exceptionally slowly, but this special person is a handsome and very considerate and caring prince, and he likes me and is interested in beginning a relationship with me.... so we're in the very early budding stages of that- still just getting to know each other better and better.
This prince is so very different than other people I have known, and he is a real encouragement to me- he's keeping on top of me asking me if I've exercised today, or what I did... and asks me if I have homework I should get done, when I've been being distracted talking to him... and we've been doing devotions "together"- on the same passage, working through what we get out of it and then sharing it with each other. Besides that, we're both really committed to KEEPING God at the center of our budding relationship, because we don't want to just get stuck in the rut of going for what I want when I want it, and because I want it, regardless of whether it's what GOD's best is for me.

Life...

2007-09-27T21:47:00.000-05:00

Here I am at school... thinking about... life. :)
Some people say college isn't "real life"... and I guess I'd have to agree with them... because college is different than real life, in the way that it allows me to focus on PEOPLE and learning, rather than on work, and drudgery, and tasks, and making money, etc... that I'm so bound in, focused on "real life".
It also has allowed me to become really involved socially with several groups- my biblestudy group, gospel-choir, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, and Students for Life. I'm on the list of musicians/singers for the IV worship team, and I'm an all-around get-stuff-done person in the SFL group... and it was interesting... The Gospel Choir director, Chris Taylor, has asked me if I'd be interesting in accompanying the Gospel Choir on piano... but... I really do like singing... so I don't know about that... I told him I'd think about it and get back to him later... and I do think I am going to talk to someone in IV about leading a biblestudy myself next semester...
I also tried some things so far that I've never done before...

- I went swing dancing last week...and it was SO much fun! I really want to do it again sometime, now.
- I let my friend Dave try to teach me to tango... that was fun...and funny. lol. But he's a good dancer, so it wasn't all that awkward, and I came to the conclusion that with practice, I'd really enjoy dancing. :)

Well.. it's time to get back to LIVING life... instead of talking about it. :)

~Danette

School Again.

2007-09-14T13:03:00.001-05:00

Here I am, back at school again... only this year it seems better, for some reason. It might have to do with the fact that I'm involved with several campus organizations this time around... or maybe it's the fact that I've grown to be a bit more outgoing in the last year or so... Or.. maybe it's just due to how much God has done in my life in the past year.
Every day I am amazed at who God is, and what He has done for me... how much he's taught me since January... and really- I keep having it reinforced for me that I am in the right place right now... It's really cool when God does that.
I'm still kind of wishing that He'd see fit to give me some particular guy friend... but I am going to be patient and wait for Him to bring one of those to me on His time. I've already learned that taking things into my own hands just hurts me.

This semester is looking to be tough- with my science classes, working, and social stuff too... I'm also praying and thinking about dropping my anthropology class or not, because I want to have more time for working/studying without having to give up my social time...
I've learned from experience... social time is engergizing for me- if I don't have any, life isn't quite so much fun and vibrant. It gets a bit lonely.

Well- I have biology class in a little bit... so I should log off of the computer soon... so I think I'll say goodbye for now, and write again later!

~Danette

Fall is coming...

2007-08-29T09:55:00.000-05:00

Today is Wednesday.... I have a job interview this afternoon, I had one yesterday that I'm waiting to hear back on, and I move into my dorm room tomorrow. I picked up my books yesterday, I've got a USB drive to mail back to amazon because it is more expensive than it is worth; and classes start on Tuesday. I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to classes or not- I hope my workload isn't too terribly hard...

I bought the newest Casting Crowns album... it's called "The Altar and the Door" The whole album is based off of the thought that "Christianity exists between the altar and the door-" between faith and actions. Between what we say we believe, and what we do about it. It's pretty true. So far there are several songs on this album that really present their messages really effectively and make you think. Like, "Somewhere in the Middle":

Somewhere between the hot and the cold ~ Somewhere between the new and the old ~ Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be ~ Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me ~ Somewhere between the wrong and the right ~ Somewhere between the darkness and the light ~ Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me ~ Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me ~

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control ~ Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense ~ Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle ~ With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is ~ But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle ~ Are we caught in the middle ~

Somewhere between my heart and my hands ~ Somewhere between my faith and my plans ~ Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves ~ Somewhere between a whisper and a roar ~ Somewhere between the altar and the door ~ Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more ~ Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me ~

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control ~ Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense ~ Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle ~ With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is ~ But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle ~ Are we caught in the middle ~

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side ~ Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

It really makes you think, huh? "the God we want, and the God who is....."... caught in the middle between surrendering completely to Jesus and keeping control of our own lives. This song depicts where I was in my life a few months ago really well... where I was when I opened my eyes and realized I was there in January and February... a place of being a hypocrite... and, like the song "Between the Altar and the Door" says... losing my resolve between the altar and the door- making a decision and the follow-through- I was there for quite awhile.. I still find myself there occasionally... this song made me think... it was a little bit sad... but it's really good.

"The Altar and the Door"
Careless, I am reckless ~ I’m a wrong-way-travelin’-slowly-unraveling shell of a man ~ Burnt out, I’m so numb now ~ That the fire’s just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart ~ Lord, this time I’ll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life ~ Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I... ~

Cry, like so many times before ~ But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord ~ I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through ~ Between the altar and the door ~

Here at the altar, oh my world so black and white ~ How could I ever falter ~ What You’ve shown me to be right ~ I’m trying so hard to stop trying so hard ~ Just let You be who You are ~ Lord, who You are in me ~ Jesus, I’m trying so hard to stop trying so hard ~ Just let You be who You are ~ Lord, who You are in me ~ Oh Lord, I

~ Cry, like so many times before ~ But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord ~ I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through ~ Between the altar and the door

Verses for my summer...

2007-07-29T15:56:00.000-05:00

Jeremiah 29:11-13...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

This summer has been a time in my life of focus. There were SO many things I wanted to say yesterday when we had our testimony service at camp- but I had about a minute and a half to talk, and I ran out of time to share what God's been doing in my life- so I shall do it here.

I have been refreshed this summer, with fellowship with other Christians. I was being starved of fellowship in general for the last year or so- not being at school with other believers, and being in a secular environment working for the last six months... and it was just like instantly being plunged into icy water, the difference between camp and being at home/work without it. I have grown SO much this summer- in a lot of areas of my life, but I know that a lot of it has been a result of being surrounded by Christian people who are passionate for God, and being immersed in preaching directed TO me for training weeks, and being encouraged in my devotional time.

I have also found a couple of friends to hang out with the last few weeks of the summer- both are guys- their names are Caleb and Nathanael. They've helped me with Jr. Church for the last four weeks, and hung out at my house afterwards during Sunday afternoons. All that they are is friends to me, but it's kind of like having two new brothers, or more cool guy cousins... just a lot of fun. In a way it's been disappointing this summer that I haven't come away with a "special" person... but it's been good for me anyway- and I've been learning a new way of interacting with guys... being able to be friends with them and hang out with them, even if they aren't likely to become anything more.
There are a number of guys at camp, who, if they had shown interest in me, I would have welcomed it. In case some of the guys from camp eventually find my blog, I shall not mention any names, LOL. However, God is good, He knows what's best for me, and not having a particular guy to distract my attention this summer is precisely what I needed, in order to grow and make changes in my life.
Saturday evening I am having a bonfire at my house, and I hope it is going to be a LOT of fun! I have a number of people planning on coming... and I think we'll have a lot of fun hanging out around the fire... the only thing I am not looking forward to quite as much is the hostessing part- that I have to wander around a lot and make sure people are happy with everything... because I will be the hostess. LOL.
Rumors are that Nathanael, Jacob, and Caleb intend to make a fire with giant flames and have a lot of fun with it.... so my only advising to them is that they are not allowed to cook the pear on the pear tree on their stems... I am almost wondering if we should move the fire to a location other than the back yard- if only for the sake of the trees nearby. LOL.

Well, I must go, almost time for the evening service!
Resting in HIS arms;
~Danette

Growing

2007-07-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

Isn't it nice when you can see progress in your life in an area or two? - Knowing that you have areas to work on isn't quite as fun as seeing yourself grow stronger in those same areas.
This summer I have been learning a lot and getting better in several spiritual areas in my life, while at the same time I KNOW I have some other things I need to work on dealing with, as well.
It's been a learning and growing experience this summer working with the RN here. She comes from a different environment than I do, and it's been a challenge at times to work together- but we're both growing and learning as time goes on.
One of the biggest things I'm learning is in my reactions to what people say or do- am I responding appropriately, or are my reactions out of proportion? Another thing I'm working on is something I've been dealing with for a long time- and will probably fight with for the rest of my life- Submitting myself to God, and listening to His leading, rather than taking my life and running with it.
Today I had my "10 Minutes" with Pastor Randy... the end-of-summer interview he's doing with everyone on summer staff. It went well, and I was able to tell him a lot of stuff about how I've grown this summer, and things I've learned, and what I hope to do in my future.
I can hardly believe that there's only a week and a half more to the summer- and then I will be going home, and then off to college again. Time has flown so quickly, all while I have experienced much in each and every day.
Yesterday I was delighted that I got time to give some people some smiles- I brought freeze-pops to all the program staff people- all the staff who are stuck at their posts- wherever they are working, either at go-carts, or horses, or rifles, archery, the waterfront... and I brought them all freeze-pops and made them smile... which made ME smile, because I really liked giving them out and knowing that they were much appreciated- especially as hot as it has been this week!
I think I am going to ATTEMPT to do the same thing every day or so.... but I can't guarantee it, unfortunately!

I do look forward to school- if only because it's the opening of a new year in my life, a new school-year, and new opportunities to minister to people. I want to get involved in a bible-study immediately, and perhaps start my own. I'm going to work on making a lot of friends and invite those people to come to the InterVarsity meetings on Monday nights, and I will try to organize fun get-togethers with people from InterVarsity and other Christian groups to try to connect the unsaved students to people who know the Truth. I'll get involved in the Lighthouse Society again, and do what I can in that group as well, and I may just find another new and fun thing to do or two... like find someone to learn to rock-climb with or something.

I must finish my post now- I have things to do!
~Danette

Sky again.

2007-07-09T15:36:00.000-05:00

I took a really cool picture of the sky, so here it is.

I do have more camp pictures, but I don't have time to upload them all- so for now all you get is a picture of the sky. :)

~Danette

Hilarious stuff sometimes....

2007-06-27T10:19:00.000-05:00

Today a kid came into the clinic, having thrown up... and his counselor was soooo worried about him- because he was feeling really tired, and he'd thrown up, and he had a tick on him the other day and it was a deer tick- the kind that CAN carry lymes disease and other diseases... but it wasn't a logical thing to try connecting the deer tick with his symptoms, as it hadn't been even 24 hours since the tick bite... so Teresa and I were basically worried he was going to have a stomach bug, and that we'd have to figure out who to have stay with him all day in the clinic- which requires TWO people, as he's a boy, thus I would stay as well as another person, just for the sake of propriety.
So I took his temperature and talked to him... come to find out, there was a very logical cause for his throwing up. LOL. I asked him when he started feeling yucky- and his response was:
"Well, this morning when I got up. I guess it could have something to do with all the junk I ate last night."
"Junk?" I asked him. "Did you eat a lot of candy last night?"
"15 candy bars," he replied. I just laughed and shook my head. No wonder he was feeling sick, and that he had thrown up. "Am I alright," he asked, now. "I feel fine... can I go now?"
"So you don't feel like you're going to throw up again?" I asked.
"No, I feel fine." he said.
"You don't feel tired or sick anymore?" his counselor, James, asked.
"No, not really," the kid said. "I feel fine."
"Did you have a lot of trouble sleeping last night?" nurse Teresa asked.
"Yeah, I didn't sleep very well. I kept waking up in the night." he said.
She looked concerned, as if she was very worried about the fact that he hadn't gotten very much sleep- worried about what caused his frequent waking. "Do you usually wake up a lot in the night?" she asked. He shook his head.
"It could probably be explained by the fact that last night was the first night of camp, and so he was sleeping in a different bed, and away from home," I suggested.
"I have a tempur-pedic bed at home," the kid said. "When I laid down last night, the bed kind of hurt."

And so, the mystery was solved. Illness was determined to be caused by the consuming of 15 candy bars, and the fatigue from a day of camp and sleeping in a strange bed in a hot cabin. No evidence of the tick being involved in any of it at all.

Pictures from camp!

2007-06-17T15:28:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures from camp so far.... :)

Chania, the girl who got saved on Thursday, when I shared the gospel with her... and Anna, my cousin, and her counselor.

aww... Jennifer was at our house today after the picnic while we waited for the laundry to be done... and she took a nap on the couch- she looks so comfortable. lol. :)

The kids going horseback riding this week.

Games last night in the lodge.

Kallie Harris, a little girl who's the daughter of the staff-evangelist, this summer.

More game night last night. They were playing Settlers of Catan.

Registration Wednesday of Jr. Missions week. Waiting for the kids to arrive.

More registration and waiting time.

The sky a week or so ago.

So ends the pictures for today. :) More to come.

An amazing evening

2007-06-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

Thursday night I did something that I had never done before. When the evening service was nearly over, Bro. Cajiuat gave an invitation- this after two very clear salvation messages in the days previous. I expected that a few campers would respond, and would be met by the very qualified lead counselors and staff that were already waiting, at the back of the chapel. I was amazed at how wrong I was. About a third of the campers raised their hands in the invitation, and over half of the campers- those that raised their hands, and some that didn't!- rose from their seats, and poured into the back of the chapel. As I watched, all the staff that was available got up from their seats and headed to the back to deal with the kids. And they were met with more than enough kids for each of them- and so I, kind of nervously, got up from my seat and went to the back to help. Immediately a petite little girl was pointed out to me "She needs someone to talk to, still." The little girl looked pretty shaken, and as if she was about to cry. "Hey, what's your name?" I asked her. "Chania" she replied. (which sounds more like "Sha-nee-ah") I started to talk to her as we made our way over to the dining hall to talk. We found a table once we were there, and I began to counsel her, and share the gospel with her, and what it means to be saved. That night she asked Jesus into her heart and got saved. She endured the questioning of both evangelist Brad Harris, and evangelist Dave Cajiuat- and seemed to understand what she had just chosen to do. When we walked out of the dining hall, she looked at me and told me "Now that I'm a Christian, I'm going to read my Bible every day, and go to church!" This little girl is also one of the ones that I had to see every morning and evening passing medicine, so I have gotten to keep track of her a little bit. She is soooo sweet- and when they leave today, I know I am going to miss the darling little girl. It's a reason to go up to Gospel Light church in inner-city minneapolis and help them there sometime, even if only for the sake of getting to see Chania and find out how she's doing. :)

Kristen, one of Chania's counselors, (the other is my cousin Anna) said that Chania does indeed understand that she got saved- and she said she really feels different now, and is so happy that Jesus saved her- I am thrilled that it was a real decision, and not a half-hearted one, or without understanding.
God's Word and prayer never return void- I know that I probably messed up a lot in my counseling Chania- and I know I forgot some stuff, in the rote and suggestions that we were given in training, (when Julie Brill taught me about the counseling after chapel, in our role-play... thanks Julie, you were a big blessing to me!) but the prayers I offered up to God that the kids in the service would be touched by Bro. Dave's message were not in vain, and neither was the scripture that I read to Chania.

"It's not about me- it's all about God"- that's what's on a plaque in Pastor Randy's office- someone gave it to him last year. That's truly what it is. About God.

I ask for prayers for me this summer, that I will consistently show the image of Christ to others- both staff and campers- and as well, I want you to keep in prayer the counselors and other staff this summer, and the campers who are coming to camp for the rest of the summer, and the ones leaving today.

In a little while, I'll put some pictures up from my weeks of camp... you'll just have to wait and see!

I hope to get a picture of me with Chania before she has to leave, too. :)

~Danette

More parallels

2007-06-11T16:22:00.000-05:00

Okay; Friday there was an interesting event- I was sitting outside the dining hall here at camp, and the sky was blue, and sunny with some lovely puffy clouds in it. Suddenly, there was this big CRRRAAACK!!! and a tree started to tip.... crashing into the ground with a crunchy noise. When we examined the tree, we discovered that though the branches were covered with vibrant green leaves, the inside of the trunk was rotted and the wood was spongy and soft. Though it appeared healthy, the tree was really dead on the inside.
So it can be with our lives. A person may look like a good Christian, saying all the right things, doing all the right things, looking the right way- but on the inside, they may very well be dying on the inside, full of rottenness and decay.
When the winds began to blow strong, the living trees stood firm and weathered the storm, but the tree that was dead on the inside cracked and gave way, (and ultimately provided some firewood.) and could not stand under the pressure of the wind.
People who only LOOK like good Christians show their true colors when faced with the storm. Christianity through hard times can't be faked.

Psalm 18 is really cool, looking at how God protects and takes care of us as Christians, and just how awesome he is!

~Danette

Psalms 18
I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.

The cords of death encompassed me;
the torrents of destruction assailed me;
the cords of Sheol entangled me;
the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called upon the LORD;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

Then the earth reeled and rocked;
the foundations also of the mountains trembled
and quaked, because he was angry.
Smoke went up from his nostrils,
and devouring fire from his mouth;
glowing coals flamed forth from him.
He bowed the heavens and came down;
thick darkness was under his feet.
He rode on a cherub and flew;
he came swiftly on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him,
thick clouds dark with water.
Out of the brightness before him
hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds.

The LORD also thundered in the heavens,
and the Most High uttered his voice,
hailstones and coals of fire.
And he sent out his arrows and scattered them;
he flashed forth lightnings and routed them.
Then the channels of the sea were seen,
and the foundations of the world were laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD,
at the blast of the breath of your nostrils.

He sent from on high, he took me;
he drew me out of many waters.
He rescued me from my strong enemy
and from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a broad place;
he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

The LORD dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me.
For I have kept the ways of the LORD,
and have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all his rules were before me,
and his statutes I did not put away from me.
I was blameless before him,
and I kept myself from my guilt.
So the LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

With the merciful you show yourself merciful;
with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;
with the purified you show yourself pure;
and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous.
For you save a humble people,
but the haughty eyes you bring down.
For it is you who light my lamp;
the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop,
and by my God I can leap over a wall.
This God--his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

For who is God, but the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God?--
the God who equipped me with strength
and made my way blameless.
He made my feet like the feet of a deer
and set me secure on the heights.
He trains my hands for war,
so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You have given me the shield of your salvation,
and your right hand supported me,
and your gentleness made me great.
You gave a wide place for my steps under me,
and my feet did not slip.
I pursued my enemies and overtook them,
and did not turn back till they were consumed.
I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise;
they fell under my feet.
For you equipped me with strength for the battle;
you made those who rise against me sink under me.
You made my enemies turn their backs to me,
and those who hated me I destroyed.
They cried for help, but there was none to save;
they cried to the LORD, but he did not answer them.
I beat them fine as dust before the wind;
I cast them out like the mire of the streets.

You delivered me from strife with the people;
you made me the head of the nations;
people whom I had not known served me.
As soon as they heard of me they obeyed me;
foreigners came cringing to me.
Foreigners lost heart
and came trembling out of their fortresses.

The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock,
and exalted be the God of my salvation--
the God who gave me vengeance
and subdued peoples under me,
who delivered me from my enemies;
yes, you exalted me above those who rose against me;
you rescued me from the man of violence.

For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations,
and sing to your name.
Great salvation he brings to his king,
and shows steadfast love to his anointed,
to David and his offspring forever.

Like a puzzle, every piece of life has its place...

2007-06-10T17:21:00.000-05:00

You know you're in the right place, when the pieces start fitting together correctly. :)

I found out my financial information for school today online... and I have enough money in my bank account NOW to pay for my fall school costs with about 300 left... and I still have another paycheck coming! God is good, supplying my needs while I give up making money to work at camp. :)

gotta go...

~Danette

hello again...

2007-06-03T17:08:00.000-05:00

I am now sitting at camp, kind of bored, and looking forward to tomorrow, when people won't be sleeping all afternoon. LOL. There's a group of people playing Settlers of Catan... but they're already started and so I can't play. lol. So I am sitting here and watching a bit, and typing on my blog. And now I am done, I guess. I don't know what to write. lol.

~Danette

alas, and I am too well behaved. lol.

2007-05-31T12:52:00.000-05:00

Sadness that I have to work today and tomorrow.. I really wish I could just call in and tell them I can’t come in…. just because I really don’t want to work at the nursing home any more. But alas, I must be responsible, and follow through with the fact that I AM on the schedule for those days, and hence I’m responsible to show up. For one day it makes me halfway wish that I wasn’t such a good responsible Christian, so that I could just decide to call in and pretend to be sick and not have to go. Because I am really tired of going to the nursing home at all. I love helping people, and what I DO isn’t all that bad… but having to go to work itself, especially when I’d rather be at camp today, and not missing half a week of training…. (especially since at camp, a week means a lot… I am sort of wondering if when I get back to camp on Sunday, everyone else will have developed their friendships and gotten to know each other… and I’m going to be on the outside….again. I hope that doesn’t happen, but it just might, and it’s going to be sad if it does. Already a couple of people in my "Unit", that I met only Tuesday... I don't think they understand me... like, I was trying to discuss the fact that they likely DID have butter in the middle ages, and hence, butter not existing back then was an erroneous reason for us not to get it with our dinner- and they were perceiving wrongly that I was complaining about not getting it... when really, I was talking about the validity of the reason... *sigh* I was trying to just have fun and discuss something, and the one girl says, "Well, we're not getting butter anyway, so we can just deal with it." and it made me feel bad... because I realized that she thought I was upset about getting no butter.... and I wasn't. And... so now I am betting that I made a bad impression with that girl, because she's apparently not the kind of person who can debate or discuss random little things like that, lol... and *sigh*, now I'm semi-annoyed with myself for seeming to be incapable of acting like everybody else, no matter when or where I am. I'm just the odd duck, a lot of the time.

I'm also slightly concerned that I will end up feeling distanced from others by being the nurse's assistant rather than on the program staff, or the counseling staff... being in my own little group of two, Teresa and I... and being out of the "group" of people who become best friends and such... I don't know. I'm probably worrying too much, and it's probably not going to happen. But I really don't want to feel left out this summer... even though, feeling happy and accepted and liked isn't the POINT of going to camp. It's not the purpose. I need to remind myself of that. Those things may be products..... but the POINT, is to serve God, and to what's right. I need to keep in mind my reason for being at camp this summer.

I want to make a difference this summer in someone’s life. Pray that God will break me, shape me, and mold me more into His image this summer, and teach me to follow Him more closely every day.

Yeah. Well, that should be the end of my chattering for now. I am going to attempt to update my blog regularly... I hope I succeed in updating it frequently.

and hey- if anyone wants to send me mail at camp, that could be fun.. I know that my family is highly unlikely to do so since I will be 15 minutes from home... but still... I ENJOY getting mail from people.
My address at camp will be:

Danette Thompson
c/o Camp Chetek
PO Box 26
Chetek,WI 54728

My email is the same as ever: danette.thompson@gmail.com
I will be delighted to hear from everybody!

~Danete

Off to Camp for the summer....

2007-05-27T15:17:00.000-05:00

Hey all.. I have new summer plans!

During the last few weeks, God was really talking to me about my summer... I was feeling like I needed a change- like working at the nursing home for the rest of the summer just wasn't what God had in store for me- like that was too...simple. lol. Or something like that. Anyways... I was thinking about Camp Chetek a lot.. and then last Sunday a staff guy from camp came and preached for our church because Pastor King wasn't able to be there... and he talked about the woman who poured out precious ointment on Jesus head, out of her alabaster jar... and he said something that stuck out to me.. "This ointment cost, as it says elsewhere in scripture, the equivalent of a year's worth of wages. How hard would it be for you or I to give up a year's worth of wages for Jesus?" At the time, my mind argued with that. "It wouldn't be hard," I thought. "If Jesus wanted me to give up a year's worth of money to serve Him- I could do it."
Through the beginning of the week.. I began to think more and more about Camp Chetek... and thought of the reasons WHY I had been saying no to the idea of working there... "I don't agree with their stance on contemporary music"... I thought... (and it's true, I don't...) and "They shouldn't use the KJV for everything.. it's not understandable to today's little kids"... (which is still fairly true,) but these weren't the real heart of my reasons.
One of my main reasons was money. Camp Chetek doesn't pay anything, and so working there I wouldn't make any money during the summer. This really was brought to mind after that message- the idea that... (and I took this from the sermon in a way that was completely not its intended direction, but true just the same.) If the widow could sacrifice a year's worth of wages just to pour ointment upon Jesus head... how much more could I give up a summer's worth of money- only two months, really- in order to serve God in a volunteer position at camp?
My other principle issue had to do with submitting to authority- I didn't like some of the positions Camp Chetek takes on a couple of issues... but as I thought about it, I came to realize- it's all a matter of me submitting to authority. I didn't have to start agreeing with the camp- I just had to recognize that the issues I disagreed on are in fact "freedom" issues, and I have been opposing them because they are a stance that denies the freedom we have to make our own decisions concerning those issues, but that IS a choice- and it's camp taking its freedom to make decisions about them. Yes, I disagree with some of the choices, and the direction they take the issues themselves... but it's within camp's freedom to choose to use the KJV for their bible-camp teachings, and memorization... and it's their freedom to not use contemporary music at all- I can think these things are fine.. but it falls into Romans 14- if those things could make someone stumble, it's better to avoid them if those people are involved, rather than cause stumbling... and I realized that it's what camp is doing- using KJV, it's neutral, and the same with the music- it's sometimes better to be mild and conservative compared to some people, in order that you might not offend others.
I had to decide that I am willing to submit to the rules of the camp- regardless of what I believe. And I did. And I am so excited now about camp- and about what God may do with me this summer. Pray for me that I will let Him lead me and that I will choose to do His will day by day.
I will be working as the nurse's assistant this summer at camp, and I am really excited about it. If you want to know more about what I'm doing this summer, feel free to email me at danette.thompson@gmail.com and ask. :)

In God's grace...
~Danette

Summer plans..

2007-05-22T13:23:00.000-05:00

I have summer plans!

I'm going to be a nursing assistant at Camp Chetek this summer. :) I am excited.

It starts in two weeks.. well.. it'd be earlier, except I have a work schedule that won't be over til then.

me is excited!

~Danette

Back and Forth

2007-05-18T13:02:00.001-05:00

Sometimes my mind feels like it's playing tug of war... first, I start doing my devotions regularly, and feel encouraged, and am doing well... and then the rope tugs the other way, and I begin to miss getting them done... and I have to tug the rope back, and get back on track, before I fall in the mud in the middle, and lose determination and have to climb out of the muddy pit to start over again. Today is one of those days when I'm tugging the rope back, because I didn't get them done this morning, so I am going to make sure I read my devotions while I have one of my breaks from work today. Romans 6 and Esther 4, today. A friend and I have been discussing our devotions together, and that's what we're looking at today... I love Romans. :)

I am both looking forward to the weekend, and dreading it at the same time. No, I don't work Saturday or Sunday... but Sunday, I take on a completely new adventure: Church pianist. Dawn is suspecting she may be gone from church Sunday, because her baby is soon to be due- and Lori is going to be gone as well, so here I am- the only remaining piano-playing individual, (Well, Scott plays the piano, but I don't think we want him doing accompaniment- it'd be a little difficult to sing with,) who shall be at church... so, yay me. lol. Kind of. I like it when people ask me to do things- I don't appreciate it when they just assume I will, and then sign me up for them- and I don't like being left out of the loop, and everything, either... but being asked to do something that I'm good at, is nice.
Next thing I'd like... would be for someone OUTSIDE of my family to actually want ME to sing with them for special music.. I mean- our church has a ladies' group, and there are more ladies in it now than there have been before- so I know it's not just a super-static group... but nobody asks me to sing... and I have to say, I don't find much to be special, of hearing me sing with Brita, every time we have special music, or whatever. It's just.. well.. family. Maybe it's special to some church people, but to me, it's plain and ordinary.
I must get going, so I can be ready for work, and get there on time, (it starts at 2) and hopefully make it to my grandmother's house beforehand, because she still has my nametag in her garage, waiting for me to come pick it up. lol!

I promise to write some more in-depth musings of a creative nature later...

~Danette

p.s. I suppose I could just share the poem I had fun writing... lol. It's not finished yet- I think I need to double or triple its length to get the meaning into it that I intend.. but here it is:

Bubbles. :)

Floating through the air
without a care
in the world.
Seeming to be so free,
unhindered by worry
and stress.
Rainbow colored iridescence
breath of air
captured
within a film of soap
Floating through the air
thoughtless,
into the soft cool breeze
of the night.

:)

snakey snakey!

2007-05-11T02:01:00.000-05:00

The other day, Brita found a northern redbellied snake in the yard... Here are the pictures.

Creativity

2007-05-09T11:06:00.000-05:00

Hmm. One of these days I shall write another story. A friend named John thinks I should write a sequel to my Splook story... Hmm.. but what to write next about him?

Splook and the Cinnamon Flies

any ideas??

Cookie Monster Eats a Computer...

2007-05-07T13:13:00.000-05:00

http://www.informationweek.com/blog/main/archives/2007/05/the_muppets_coo.html

this is cool. lol. a very old clip of the original cookie monster... eating something rather different than a cookie. lol ;)

Dandelions

2007-05-07T10:28:00.000-05:00

Once again, I write a post of reflection- a post that my lovely friends Amy and Kimmy will love. :)

This time my subject for comparisons is the common, ordinary, everyday dandelion.

Dandelions are like Christians are supposed to be... I was staring at a dandelion the other day, and it just hit me... they are a very good example of how we should live our lives.

Dandelions are bright, and resemble the sun when they are vibrant and alive- their bright yellow heads mimic the immense and powerful sun above, as they bask in it and grow in it. They grow almost anywhere, bringing their lovely yellow cheer to lawns, ditches, fields, parks, flowerbeds, gardens... just about anywhere with dirt, dandelions can grow. Some people don't like dandelions. They call them weeds, and say they want them to go away, and often spray them with weed killer, to rid their yards of the flowers. Dandelions mature into little white puffballs of seeds, which are carried off by the wind to new spots of ground and planted there to grow more dandelions. The spent dandelions then look unattractive... but they fulfilled their purpose, to spread their seeds, to grow more lovely dandelion flowers, and continue onward.
A weed is something that isn't appreciated where it's growing, or that is growing somewhere you don't want it, or something you just don't like. Sometimes people define particular plants as always being weeds- and they usually put dandelions and thistles in this category.

Dandelions make me think of life. Like dandelions bask in and grow in the sun, and even resemble it to some extent... we are to bask and grow in the SON, who is our Lord, and show His character and being to the world.
Like dandelions, we are to be bright and alive in the midst of a dark and lost world. We are to spread the seeds of God's Word- which He uses to bring more people to Himself, taking our seeds and planting them in people's hearts.
Like dandelions, we as Christians are often disliked or despised- those who do not know our God often want us to go away, and some will try most anything to rid themselves of these people called Christians, who spread their Hope to others, grow all over the place, show others their Christ, and help to increase the flock of God's sheep. ;)
Think about dandelions a new way next time you look at one- Let the brilliant yellow of the dandelion remind you to be a bright beacon of joy within our dark and hard world- show people the bright light of the joy, love, peace, and hope that comes from our wonderful God. And maybe next time you see a dandelion, you can thank God for its being there to remind you to shine brilliantly for God.

Matthew 5:13-16
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Spring...

2007-05-06T18:33:00.000-05:00

I shall soon be writing a post about dandelions, because...well.. I want to... In the meantime, here are 65 new pictures of nature stuff on my photobucket. lol :)

My Photobucket site...

:) There you go.. :)

~Danette

Hey, it's a good day!

2007-04-30T22:11:00.000-05:00

Today was an awesome day. I came down to Eau Claire, and got a lot of stuff done, and now I'm really happy with how the day's turned out. :)

I got my classes figured out- which ones to register for, I got to talk to Lorraine, who was my temporary advisor, who was AWESOME and a lot of help and encouragement... I was able to go to InterVarsity tonight for the first time, and it's kind of funny to me that I finally got there... without being a student this time. LOL

I also discovered Cafe420... a Christian coffee shop in Eau Claire, really close to the university. :) I'm writing this blog post from there, lol.

I also got a new book to read... I'm going to see how long it takes me to read it. lol! "Til We Have Faces", by CS Lewis.

It was a great day... but it really made me wish this was a normal day... meaning that it was a day while I was at school again. I am SO looking forward to fall, when I get to go to school... though it's funny that everyone thinks I'm absolutely crazy because I want to skip summer and just have fall come right away.

However, I guess at the same time, I don't want to do that... because I want to have summer with my family again... to get to canoe down the river, to get to have lots of bonfires, go swimming a couple of times, etc... I miss camp Chetek even, and it's sad that it's changing so much, that I wouldn't feel able to work there, but yet, I miss its familiarity, and the comfort of being there, and not working there just is something that falls short of the plan I had since I was very little, of working there when I got old enough to be a camp counselor.... remembering what it was like to have an awesome counselor like Ruth was, and how much encouraged I came home from camp the one year I had an awesome counselor.

But alas, this summer, I work. And work. And work. And work some more. And I don't know what else the summer holds for me... maybe something, I hope so. A friend gave me a link for a day-camp thing that's happening near madison for special-needs kids, and it sounds kind of cool... after working as a CNA, it's funny how much my perceptions and reactions for things have changed. How a few years ago I would never have considered doing much at all with special needs-kids, because I wouldn't know how to treat them, or how to deal with them... but after working with alzheimers' patients, I think I could handle it well, and probably enjoy it. Though.. I'm pretty sure that I'll probably end up just working... *sigh* I don't know for sure. God does though, and I'm going to wait for him to let me know. :)

I want to get to have fall, and the spring, and finally be a nursing student, partially because I'd love to get to be a camp nurse... :)

Well, I should go now, lol. So... the end. :)

~Danette

The old and the new

2007-04-25T17:12:00.000-05:00

I am going back to school in the fall. I am looking forward to being back on campus.. the familiarity of walking down the wooden steps behind McPhee... of sitting in Davies and getting coffee at Jazzman's... and of going to classes. Taking notes. Inhaling the lovely fall air, and admiring the trees... taking pictures like mad when I look around and see how gorgeous everything is... once again feeling like I have the freedom to get up and drive off to wherever I want, whenever I want to- knowing I'll be responsible, but that I'm also responsible for MYSELF- instead of having my parents there trying to be responsible for me...

I also am looking forward to the new things... New friends, new experiences, new... everything. I might try to get involved in the gospel choir or something... and I'll be involved in Lighthouse Society again.. that will be sooo nice.. to be back.

And now... I should go work on my crocheting or my pharmacy tech stuff, or reading... because there are things to do. lol.

~Danette

music!!!

2007-04-23T11:28:00.000-05:00

Korismos #0 - Composition 1

my first piano composition....

See what you think? 4 minutes of piano music. :)

Awesome News....

2007-04-18T13:10:00.000-05:00

This is AWESOME news...

...from www.LifeNews.com

"Supreme Court Upholds Partial-Birth Abortion Ban on 5-4 Decision"

-- The Supreme Court has reversed a decision it handed down in 2000 and upheld a Congressional ban on the gruesome partial-birth abortion procedure. The ruling indicated that the federal ban on the abortion procedure did not violate the so-called right to abortion established under Roe v. Wade.

Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote the majority opinion for the Supreme Court and indicated that the abortion advocates who sued to overturn the ban "have not demonstrated that the Act would be unconstitutional in a large fraction of relevant cases."

President Bush signed the national partial-birth abortion ban into law in 2003 and abortion advocates took it to court in three separate lawsuits and federal courts in each case relied on the Supreme Court's decision in 2000 and declared the ban unconstitutional.

Saying the "decision is alarming," Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dissented in the case and said the court should have followed its previous decision on the controversial abortions.

Justices Stephen Breyer, David Souter and John Paul Stevens joined her in the dissent.

The ruling is the first major abortion case in which new Chief Justice John Roberts and Associate Justice Samuel Alito have ruled, perhaps giving a clue as to their views on Roe itself.

As they did on the partial-birth abortion decision today, pro-life advocates hope the pair will join Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas and a fifth justice in the future who would form a five-judge group giving it the majority on the high court for the first time since the landmark 1973 case.

A fifth judge is needed because Justice Kennedy supports Roe despite his joining the majority in the partial-birth abortion case.

The high court previously invalidated a Nebraska partial-birth abortion ban in 2000 in the Carhart case, which caused other state bans to be unconstitutional.

The decision in the partial-birth abortion case could spark renewed efforts to get state partial-birth abortion bans back on the books or prompt pro-life groups to target other abortion procedures that are used in the middle or later parts of pregnancy.

Applauding the decision, Priests for Life director Father Frank Pavone said, "The United States Congress, and the vast majority of state legislators and American citizens, have made it clear over the last decade that this procedure – by which a child is killed in the very process of delivery – has no place in a civilized society."

”We are grateful to all who worked so hard to pass this law and to educate the public about this unspeakably violent procedure," he added.

Much of the debate revolved around whether a partial-birth abortion is ever medically necessary.

Dr. Anthony Levatino, a Las Cruces, New Mexico OBGYN who formerly did abortions in New York, says a partial-birth abortion is a three day long process and would never be a medical procedure a doctor would need to use to protect a woman's health.

"The way you end a pregnancy to save a woman's life is to deliver the (baby)," Levatino said. "If you wait three days to do a partial birth abortion, she's going to end up in the morgue."

Levatino said the health exception abortion advocates want is a "legal tactic" that has no basis in medical fact.

The cases are Gonzales v. Carhart, 05-380, and Gonzales v. Planned Parenthood, 05-1382.

Viennese Ball pictures....

2007-04-18T12:45:00.000-05:00

I finally got my viennese ball pictures up for you to all see... Unfortunately.. the ball itself was kind of a disappointment... but... I got to look pretty for it!

:)

~Danette

The Viennese Ball Comes...

2007-04-12T13:10:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow or Saturday I will be sure to post pics of the Viennese Ball... It's gonna be beautiful!
This time I'll put my camera in my purse... and take LOTS of pictures. :D

crystal sea

2007-03-07T11:43:00.000-06:00

The crystalline sea of snowflakes that is spread over my yard is beautiful. It sparkled a lot more than you can see here... twinkling and gleaming like gems in the sunlight. It looked so smooth and pristine... so perfect. More beautiful than the best of diamonds, God gives us the snowflakes... In great numbers, individually different. Crafted by our Maker, even though He knows we will not likely appreciate the majority of them. But yet, He makes them anyway.

The piles of plowed snow, covered with a fresh layer of powdery crystals... reminds me of breakers at a beach... of the foamy white water pouring off of them and crashing back up against the rocks over and over.... reminds me of visiting the beach this past summer. Except we get this all winter. :)

peace.

2007-03-03T14:39:00.000-06:00

You know, when I broke up with Eric, I thought I would be miserable for quite awhile... every time I saw something from him or relating to him.. I almost burst into tears. My mom advised me to pray for God to take care of my feelings... and that when he did, not to freak out about it, or think something was wrong because he did.
Well, I found myself thinking that way yesterday. Feeling... almost ashamed of myself because I wasn't unhappy anymore. I was... not really thinking about the whole mess at all... and felt guilty about it, because it hasn't been very long. And yet, it feels like an eternity.
I guess that I just have to be thankful to God for answering my prayers, and beginning to heal my heart.
I wonder what's coming next for me. ;)

"wait and see" God says. :) ... I'll try.

Surrender...

2007-02-26T15:53:00.000-06:00

A song from Barlowgirl that really related to me in the last few weeks and months.. when I found it, I kind of went "wow...." and had to buy it on iTunes...

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen.
So many years I’ve shaped each one
Reflecting my heart, showing who I am.
Now you’re asking me to show
What I’m holding Oh so tightly.
Can’t open my hand; can’t let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can’t you let me go?

Chorus
Surrender, surrender
You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can’t you see
My dreams are me, My dreams are me

Say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life.
Told me the world has yet to see
What you can do with one
That’s committed to your call.
I know of course what I should do
That I can’t hold these dreams forever.
But if I give them now to you
Will you take them
Away forever?
Or can I dream again?

It's all about the struggle between letting go of dreams, knowing that God's plans and dreams are better... or holding on what you have, because you've thought about it, and planned it, and hoped and dreamed for it on your own for however long...

A better way...

2007-02-21T09:51:00.000-06:00

I was thinking about my current situation... and I've realized I need to accept that God has a better way than I can ever imagine, for me. For all of you who don't know yet... I broke up with Eric on Monday evening... and I'm not sure how I feel right now. I know it was right- that much I know. But whether or not I can stand up to the pressure my flesh is putting on me to give in and try to reconcile with him instead of standing my ground- and he's not even the one putting any pressure on me at all... but.. it's hard. My heart aches, because I feel like I've lost the person who meant most to me in this world... the one I wanted to be able to marry... while I know that at this point, breaking up was needed. EVERYTHIING makes me think of Eric... it's kind of frustrating... because thoughts just wash over my mind... things we did while he visited me... parts of the summer that I spent at camp with him... things he's told me... and my heart cries out "you're losing something!!!!" but... I also can look to God's word that tells me "the heart is deceitful above all things, and deperately wicked- who can know it?"
but.. anyway. Pray for me? I'm fighting a battle with my heart and mind right now- trying to stay fast to what I believe is right- while an awful little voice in my brain asks me- "are you sure this is what you believe?"...
The devil's attacking me pretty hard in my decision making right now...

I need a hug.

~Danette

For Kimmy.

2007-02-20T22:06:00.000-06:00

This post is officially in recognition that Kimmy found my blog. :D And now.. a treat for her.... another one. http://ispiratio.blogspot.com Though not as updated... sorry, Kimmy!

but.. you might like what's on there, anyway.

my color....

2007-02-20T11:42:00.001-06:00

BROWN

You are usually very straight-forward. You have a passive personality and enjoy nurturing those around you. You are very grounded and prefer to keep things simple and honest.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

.... I kind of had a draw between violet and brown... but hey- I guess that's ok... because purple and brown look pretty together. :D

VIOLET

You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and believe strongly in your personal morals.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

A breath of air...

2007-02-07T17:18:00.000-06:00

These verses just seemed like a breath of fresh -though familiar- air... :) God's steadfast love peeks through the pages of my Bible nearly every day... (as often as I remind myself to open it up... I'm getting better at this- though I still miss a few days.)
:) Psalms 36:5-10

Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;
your judgments are like the great deep;
man and beast you save, O LORD.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house,
and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light do we see light.

Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you,
and your righteousness to the upright of heart!

Brita's GRADUATING already???

2007-02-03T11:52:00.000-06:00

It seems like the last two years have flown by SO fast... but here she is... with senior pictures already!

This is only a photograph of her photograph... because the scanner's not attached to a working computer right now... but oh well. You get the general idea, anyway. :)

yay...

2007-01-31T21:37:00.001-06:00

Yay... I heard back from the CVTC, and I now know that I have all of the requirements for their massage therapy program taken care of... except for the Healthcare Providers' CPR class... that I am enrolled for, and taking next Saturday... Feb. 10th. So.. .as soon as I turn in a transcript from THAT... I will be fully enrolled in my massage therapy program- starting in August. :)
And... I am excited about that. :)

So I guess the next thing for me to do is to decide WHEN I will be leaving to go down there... to Eau Claire. Because then I will have to start hunting for an apartment, or some sort of living accomodations... and a job. Perhaps as a CNA... and perhaps as something else more fun... and less stressful. Like... I don't know yet.. .By then I might have enough of my pharmacy technician work done to get a job with THAT...
:)

a song...

2007-01-31T21:22:00.000-06:00

Here is a song that has been playing a lot on my computer the last few weeks.... especially starting about two weeks ago... I just found it to be so comforting...

"A Better Way" by downhere, in their album, "Wide-Eyed and Mystified"...

I'm not alone, I really believe
You never go, You never leave
Here and now, You always stay
“I love you” could not be said
a better way

Chorus
It's everything You've promised
There's no greater love than this
From prophets until today
A man laying down His life for His friends
Your sacrifice has spoken, You gave everything
And “I love you” could not be said
A better way

I am forgiven, I clearly see
It's why You came to do all you did for me
Trading earth with heaven, You took my place
“I love you” could not be said
A better way

Chorus
It's everything You've promised
There's no greater love than this
From prophets until today
A man laying down His life for His friends
Your sacrifice has spoken, You gave everything
And “I love you” could not be said
A better way

Because You redeem, I know what's to come
Everything I could lose here, You've already won
So You have my surrender, with passion obey
“I love you” could not be said
A better way.

Five things about me...

2007-01-30T22:14:00.000-06:00

I was tagged by Amy at Farkleberry Juice, to list five little-known things about me... maybe I can find some things that you DON'T know... :) Hmm... this is hard, to come up with things that you don't already know... and that at the same time, I might actually not mind sharing... :) After all, my mother reads this blog sometimes, you know!...... (just teasing, Mother)

Ok.. here it goes...

1. LITTLE known thing... (not UNKNOWN, I'm guessing, but LITTLE known...).... um... I dislocated my elbow when I was little- like around 2?... My grandfather was holding my hand as we walked up the stairs at their house in Owatonna, MN, and I suddenly decided I wanted to go the other way, and tried to turn around and go down.... and because of the law of gravity, and him not wanting me to get hurt falling down the stairs, my Gramps didn't let go of my hand, and... there went the elbow. So... I dislocated it.

2. Another thing... When I was taking piano lessons from Mrs. Emmons, I apparently only mentioned "my sister" in a certain way that she got the idea that I only had ONE sister... and was kind of surprised to find out I had two! (and I didn't even realize I hadn't been differentiating them well enough...)

3. Every once in awhile... my lava lamp mesmerizes me... I stare at it and watch it go... particularly at times like these, when I recently turned it on, and it starts doing weird unusual things, instead of "blooping" up and down... (Is that a word? ... I kind of hope not... because that way I won't have used it wrong, or have used a double entendre or something... oh wait... it IS a word.....

bloop |bloōp| verb 1 [ intrans. ] informal make a mistake : the company admitted it had blooped. • [ trans. ] Baseball hit a ball weakly or make (a hit) from a poorly hit fly ball landing just beyond the reach of the infielders. 2 [ intrans. ] chiefly Brit. (of an electronic device) emit a short low-pitched noise.
DERIVATIVES bloopy adjective
ORIGIN 1920s: imitative.

Hmm.. maybe that second meaning can come close to the sound I imagine the lava would make, were I able to hear it, as the little blobs of liquid wax separate from the more solid, cooler lump at the bottom.... and "Fflupp" would be about equivalent to what I imagine it would sound like for them to join together again... hmm.. maybe these can become new onomatopoeical words... :) (kind of like "buzz")

ok.. back to the task at hand..

3. er... 4. Yeah.. that's right... 4. (wow, I've already answered three of these??) I like notebooks. Yeah, a lot of you that read this probably DO know that.... but I like them.. the pretty paper inside, the hard covers... I'm talking about spiral or sewn bound, hardcover notebooks, with the decorative paper inside that can do as a stand-in for stationery at times. :)
I also like stationery, and pens. And.. gel-pens, ball-points with tiny tips, and sometimes, the occasional mechanical pencil. But I hate normal pencils... they're too inconvenient, for someone who writes a lot.. you always have to sharpen them WAY too much, for their worth...

5. I went on a missions trip to New York City in December of my senior year, (wow, that was way back in '04-'05, now... seems so long ago, and still only yesterday!) and I loved it! It didn't really draw me any closer to any of the people I went on the trip with, (actually, I got a little annoyed at some of them more, as a result of going,) but it DID teach me a lot, and I was really encouraged by going, in my decision to attend a secular school after I graduated. You know- "Christian colleges" advertise all over for church youth groups, churches in general, and such... and even at summer camp, where I went to camp with summer counselors who were almost all invariably from a Christian college... there is this message proclaimed in all of these places- that for some reason, you cannot be right with God without going to a "Baptist Bible College" and majoring in "biblical studies" or "pastoral ministry" (for guys) or "Music ministry" or "Children's ministry" (for the ladies)... and... there I was, about to break out of this mold, and go to a secular university, (not only that, but a "PUBLIC" secular university- UWEC) and it was... almost embarrassing, in a way- that when some people asked me "where are you going to school?"... and I replied, "University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire"... they didn't look at me quite the same way... like I was some sort of heathen or something because I wasn't going to a Bible-college... And then I went to NYC. And met all of the really cool college kids that were on that trip, from Normal, IL... who went to the University of IL, and were NOT heathens... and they told me all about InterVarsity, and Navigators, and Campus Crusade, and such... and how alive a campus could be... and it encouraged me soooo much. And seemed to say to me, "hey, you're not going the wrong direction, just because it's different!"... but of course... when have I NOT been different?... It seems that everything about me has always been different... as boring as my life seems to have been so far... it's been different- out of the ordinary.

So.. anyway.. you see, another thing,... a number 6, you could say... is that I am not capable, I guess, of stating things simply and concisely in answering questions like the one asked.. five things about me that you don't necessarily already know.... and I am sure that #1, you will probably know at least some of those already, because, hey- I'm talkative, and if you've known me very long at all, you may have already heard a lot about my NYC trip...... and #2, I am pretty sure there are more than five things in that list, though it only has five bullets, and #3... it kind of doesn't resemble a list much anymore, does it?... I guess I don't do lists well, either... because I invariably come up with more details, and sub-headings and bullets to go into my list, that the original bullets seem to get lost in the sea after awhile.

Well, I will say goodnight for now, because 'tis already midnight, and I need sleep, if I want to have any MORNING tomorrow, so that I ca ndo my pharmacy technician schoolwork, AND call CVTC about my massage therapy program application that I turned in about three weeks ago, and haven't heard back about, AND finish "Feet of Clay" by Terry Pratchett, so Hanne doesn't kill me for not letting her read it yet, AND work on my shawl I'm crocheting, AND ... yeah. so the list goes onward... and somehow I invariably fall short on time, or determination, or both, to get it all done in time. And Thursday through Monday I work again... and so begins the craziness all over again. All I can say is that I'm glad I will be getting a decent paycheck this week... probably around $450 for my part time work.... which is ok, in my opinion... (especially since most of it is getting dumped into my bank account and sitting there, growing until I need it....)

wait.. here I am rambling on again....

goodnight!
~Danette

difficult...

2007-01-16T20:27:00.000-06:00

It is difficult sometimes, the struggle between choosing what is right, and what is wanted. And I do not like how often I seem to find myself on the wrong side of the struggle.

I'm quite delinquent in updating this blog lately, but oh well- I think that it must have something to do with not being in school and on a schedule like that entails...
On the school front, I intend to be in the massage therapy program at CVTC this coming fall- if they'll let me in, that is... And regardless, I believe I am intending to move to Eau Claire this spring/summer, get out on my own a bit, find a social life again, and be able to enjoy the privilege and ability to go to Jacob's Well for church as a MEMBER, instead of just a college student going part of the time.
And.. right now I'm working as a CNA... I just put in an application to work at the Cottage coffee shop as well... I don't know if they'll be needing me, if they'll want to hire me or not, or anything... but I've filled out and turned in the application, because I know I'd enjoy the work there. :)

Well, that's about all I am going to write in this update for now.

Talk to you later!
Danette

Happy new year...

2006-12-31T23:48:00.000-06:00

This year has been SO full of everything... or rather, the last TWO years. A year ago today, I was home on Christmas break between semesters at UWEC. Between January '05, when I was a home-schooled high-school senior... to January '07... where I'm a CNA and dating (albeit too much long distance in my opinion- one of us needs to move closer!) my prince, Eric!... The changes in my life just seem so huge... and it's almost more than should rightly be able to fit into such a time frame... I'm nineteen as of Saturday... so 363 more days to go, and I'll be... (weird!!) 20? Though that's about a year.... it doesn't seem like a very long time... it reminds me how much I need to value my time, and work to make each day worth it... No wasting time!

December 28th, Eric arrived. I've been enjoying every minute of being with him again... and I am NOT looking forward to the fact that in 10 more days, (Jan. 11th,) he has to go back to school again... I know I will miss him so much!

I'm thinking of finding a missions trip idea to go on... curious... maybe the Karanda mission hospital?

Well, I need to get to sleep!
talk to you later...
~Danette

feeling a bit nostalgic...

2006-12-22T22:54:00.000-06:00

ahh.. I went on facebook today, and saw a lot of pictures of UWEC scenery on a friend's photo page... As I looked at a picture of "The Bridge", I could almost feel the chilly air on my face and my legs as I walked across the bridge every day last school year... I remember standing on the wooden steps behind McPhee, just looking at the spring buds and how beautiful they were... taking pictures of the snowy prettiness of the hillside in January... rushing to get to class on-time. I remember the one time I fell down going down the hill... and how I avoided the hill on all icy days after that. I remember the mural in the hallway of my dorm, and the new one we put there nearing finals week... and I remember all of it... all of the wonderful experiences... and I miss them.
I miss the school atmosphere, the school classes, learning,... the beauty of Eau Claire.. the freshness of it all... the feeling of freedom of being on my own and being responsible for myself... I miss it. And yet, I don't want it back... because along with it went the confusion of not knowing why I was really there, not knowing what I was going to do with my life, and what on earth I should actually major in.
Now, however... I have my CNA, I'm working at a nursing home... and I have a LITTLE more of an idea of what's next... even if a lot of it is wishful thinking. I know what I want in my slightly more distant future... even if I don't know what I want to have happen next month...
I want to take a massage therapy program somewhere... and ooh... I just discovered that CVTC has a program open... but.. . I think it starts in August, and not January. grr... I want to start in January... but... I suppose that if August is the ONLY time I can start... then... hmm... I wonder.

It seems that everything I find tells me "August"... "In August there'll be an opening"... "In August you can get into the pharmacy technician program there"... "In August", everything is open right now in Eau Claire at the CVTC. And I want to take both programs.. the pharmacy tech, and the massage therapy... however, it seems like I have a glitch around here... impatience. Not wanting to wait around for the massage therapy stuff... wanting to be done with school NOW... while at the same time, wanting more school...

confusion still does exist for me... but now it's because I have too many appealing options, and difficulty choosing the BEST answer from among them...

Work...

2006-12-18T23:17:00.000-06:00

Work is going pretty well for me. I kind of like working at the Dallas nursing home. Most of the residents are pretty nice, though there are a couple that are a bit demanding... I do understand that these people are PEOPLE.. and have rights. But a few of them seem to misunderstand the meaning of this- They have the right to good care... but not necessarily the right to expect me to be able to run all over for silly things when I have a full plate of work to do...
this is one particular woman... I can't say much about her because I don't want to get into trouble for breaking confidentiality... Suffice it to say she really does try my patience.... along with that of everyone else at work. Her call light goes on... "Oh... it's her... " Nicole says. ... I need to pray for this frustrating lady, because I do know she needs Jesus love, and it's up to me to show it..
I do think in a way I prefer the "Unit"... the memory care unit. Partially because the people there are far less demanding... (they only ask for that which they need,) and partially because of the people I work with... Jill is really sweet, and I work with her a lot if I'm in the Unit... though if she keeps up with explaining simple things to me over every time she helps me with someone... that might be a bit... annoying after awhile. "And we never put clothes on the floor.. and always remember to put a clean bag in the garbage.. and we have to take care of this too... and always..."... It's ok right now because I haven't been there long. In a couple of months... we'll see...
I am glad I only work 4 days out of the 14 while Eric is here.. :D
And.. I need to go. :D
good night!
Danette

One small child...

2006-12-16T23:54:00.000-06:00

yay. I have been looking for sheet music for "One Small Child" (a christmas song) for quite awhile now. I went to Schmitt Music today, and still couldn't find it anywhere... Finally, I resorted to online. :D I bought my sheet music online digitally and printed it. :D yay. Now if only I can practice it and be able to play it well... before the christmas season is over. :D

What kind of american accent do you have?

2006-12-13T22:46:00.000-06:00

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
Boston
The West
Philadelphia
The Northeast
The Inland North
North Central
The South
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

How very interesting.... Contrast it to what my friend Sarah got on hers:

Your Result: The Inland North

You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."

:D I just thought it was kind of funny to think about. Midwest people where we live in WI DO have accents.. I've noticed them... but I speak a bit differently than they do.. which is weird, since I've lived here all my life. O.o...

A rather early birthday present...

2006-12-13T22:06:00.000-06:00

Like my rug?

:) Grandma Kearney gave it to me for my birthday.. though it's kind of early. :D

Pretty, huh?

Update...

2006-12-12T14:09:00.000-06:00

In case you haven't all figured out what has been happening in my life from my fractured posts here... Here's an update:

1. A week ago last Friday, the Director of nursing at Riverside Manor, where I was working, called me in early to tell me that I wasn't picking up on things fast enough- and I wasn't up to speed like they needed me to be. This is after two and a half weeks of learning... all brand new stuff. She said that it took her at least three months to know what she was doing fully when she was a CNA... and that she was sad that they didn't have anyone there that would be willing to train me more, but that there was no way she could offer me more training time at Riverside- she said "I'd like to transfer you to our sister facility in Dallas, if you'd agree to it"... because as she said, Dallas had fewer residents, just as many or MORE staff, and a somewhat slower pace. "You'll have more time to learn things there" she said. "We share staff all the time; everyone I send over there usually does great!...." and "If I didn't think you'd make a great CNA, I wouldn't bother trying to transfer you."
At the time, I cried. I had tears rolling down my face in the DON's office, as I tried not to actually sob. Once I got out to my car, it was a different story. The tears burst out, and I sobbed long and hard. I sat there in my car for a few moments, crying, with the words "I'm not good enough... I'm not fast enough" pulsing through my head. Then I called my mom. She had been planning to come meet me at work to get my check from me (it was my first payday) and take it to the bank, since my bank was in Rice Lake, and she was going there anyway to shop.
"...Don't..bother getting my check...from ...me" I sobbed.
"Why?" she asked me. "What happened?" Fighting back sobs, I told her everything. After a couple of minutes, she asked me where I was headed.
"Home." I replied, rather simply. "She took me off the work schedule... so I don't work tomorrow, or the next day, or after that...."
"Are you ok, then? I'll see you in a few minutes when you get home."
After saying goodbye to her, I still felt awful about what had happened, so I called Eric. :D (yes, I actually DID call my mother first.) I think he felt a little bit powerless there- as I tell him of my problems, and cry.. and he's kind of without much to say... "um.. I'm sorry? I wish I could help?... you could... come down here and find a job?" :) Yeah. But overall, when I finished talking to him, (which was actually past the time when I got home, and talked/sat for awhile on the phone with him.) I felt a bit better.
The reality was still in my head that essentially I didn't have much of a job. The Dallas nursing home was going to call me by the weekend, Judy the DON said. For the next few days, whenever someone mentioned something about my work, or about being slow, I almost started crying. I'd just about decided that I was going to seek other employment and forget about the Dallas nursing home, when I got a call from Wendy, their Director of Nursing there. She wanted to know if I was still interested in working there. She said she only had a few hours available- currently, a PM (2-10pm) shift every other weekend. (Saturday and Sunday, twice a month or so) While I halfway wanted to say "no.. I don't want to be a CNA anymore" I took it. Sunday afternoon, I began. It didn't take me long to see the difference there, from Riverside. It really WAS slower paced, and the other CNAs were pretty friendly. In my pride, when I was first looking for places to apply, I rejected the possibility of working at Dallas, because I didn't want to work with a girl from my church who worked there. This girl never hardly talked to me, and I gave up long ago on making conversation with her because she was so quiet it was like pulling nails to get conversation. Also in my pride, I didn't want to work with someone I knew, who was YOUNGER than me, and who'd been a CNA for a longer time. In essence, I didn't want to be worse at something that people I knew who were younger than me. It was stupid. And what do you know? God stuck me there now, anyway. And I found this girl saying more to me than EVER... (you might guess who it is, if I say she recently married, and that my mom and sisters said "wow" when I told them that "She uttered whole PARAGRAPHS to me!"
And I like it there. And everyone works together, and says "well, you have to have time to learn!... If you were here for six months and still messed everything up, then we'd have to say there's a problem. But you need time to learn!" And it's nice.
As I wrote to my friend Meghan...

Work was GOOD. As frustrated and upset as I was that the DON wanted to transfer me... Dallas is better. First, there are more staff assigned to work for the number of residents that we have to take care of, than Barron had... there, I think there was a ratio of 1:13, and here it's 1:8... at least, it was when the last survey was taken. But anyway- there's something like 33 or 34 residents at Dallas, with 5 or 6 CNAs... and at Barron there were 47 residents with 4-5 CNAs at a time. So.. yeah. More staff, fewer residents- makes things able to have a tad bit slower pace. Also, the people I've worked with so far seem to all really love working here in Dallas, and for some reason they all have a fairly negative opinion of Barron... it supposedly being harder or more unpleasant than in Dallas.
As much as it hurt to be told I wasn't "good enough" I think that it was good that it happened, now. Because I think I'm in a better place now than before, and I'll be able to do my best a lot easier, without the crazy rush mindset that everyone seemed to have in Barron. And so far, the people I'm working with are nice, and friendly- rather than being kind of "clique-ish" like they were in Barron... ( i.e. all hanging about/talking with each other and sort of ignoring me, etc.) here they seem genuinely friendly.
Unfortunately, Wendy, the Director of Nursing here, didn't have very many hours to give me- I am only getting scheduled for every other weekend so far... Which means I'll have about 16 hours/pay period... Not THAT bad... but at $9/hr, that comes out to about $240/month or so. Not that great, either. So I'm hoping that I can get some more hours after the end of the month... Like after Jan. 11 when Eric leaves from visiting me :D

I need to find out what my schedule will be though, for holidays... I think every CNA is supposed to work every other holiday... and so I want to find out if that means I'd be working Christmas, or on new years day... and I'm not quite sure which I'd rather do... Christmas my sister works too, so I suppose we could just pretend Christmas was the 26th instead of the 25th, so that our work schedules would work... but if I work Jan. 1st, that will be my mom's birthday... But that's not new year's eve... and I know I don't work THAT day.. so I guess it wouldn't make much difference...
Anyway- Things are looking up for me... and yay.

:) Yeah.

So no, my life is not exactly as I'd like it to be... but going along with my last post,

'Jesus is Lord and I am saved
so, say "Hey, it's a good day!"'

I'm learning little bits every day about this lesson. About things that don't go like *I* want them to, and how I should respond to them. And every day, messing one or more of those responses up, and having to start again. :) But that's life. Living growing, falling, climbing, and more growing. :)

"It's a Good Day"

2006-12-12T12:06:00.000-06:00

When I was feeling like the world had crumbled beneath me again, when the DON at Barron basically told me I wasn't good enough to work there... later that day I was looking at iTunes... well- I was using part of that first paycheck to make myself happy- I was buying the music that I'd had in my shopping cart on iTunes for a couple months. And then I came across this song, that completely smacked me upside the head when I heard some of the words- and so I bought it. It kind of brought me back down to reality after the high emotions and frustration I'd been facing.
I hope you like it as much as I do. (though at the time when I found it, I didn't like it- because it hit me between the eyes with its truth...)

It's a Good Day- FFH (from the album "Ready to Fly")

However long our feet have walked on this world
We’ve all lived long enough to know
That sometimes life will go our way
And other times it won’t
But still I’ve got this joy inside of me
With each new dawn I do believe to

Say hey, it’s a good day
Even if things aren’t going my way
Jesus is Lord and I am saved
So, say hey, it’s a good day

Circumstance and situations change
You know life can turn on a dime
But there’s a constant hope and peace
That I have come to find
And it’s all because of who God is
And that He is alive and I am His, so

Say hey, it’s a good day
Even if things aren’t going my way
Jesus is Lord and I am saved
So, say hey, it’s a good day
~repeat 2x~

We are all as happy as we make our minds up to be
I have just decided that nothing’s gonna take this joy from me

Say hey, it’s a good day
Even if things aren’t going my way
Jesus is Lord and I am saved

So, say hey, it’s a good day

Icy Shock....

2006-12-01T21:46:00.000-06:00

As I've already shared, I got a job at Riverside Manor nursing home in Barron, WI... Well... today everything changed... and I don't like it.
I got called in today early, to get my check, and to talk about something with the Director of Nursing... I had just managed to change shifts from evening to day... and I figured it would be something like that to talk about... I was wrong.
Judy started the conversation... "Things aren't going right here... have you seen that?"... and proceeded to tell me that I'm too slow... I haven't picked up on things as fast as I needed to, and it wasn't working to have me working there.... and she wanted to transfer me to their sister facility in Dallas... (WI, about 3 miles closer to my house)
Coursing through my head were the words "not good enough!"... "I'm not good enough! I'm not a good enough CNA!"... and other thoughts of "I just got my schedule! Now what!"... and she told me she was taking me off the schedule, and had called the DON at Dallas... and that she had a job for me... PM shift, part time... Now though, I'm not sure if I want to take that job, or not. I've been struggling with my work at Riverside... I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job... until yesterday. Yesterday I thought, I actually finished my own list of resident cares, and I got things done on my own!... I thought.. hey- I'm doing good tonight!... but today when I was talking to Judy, I found out that I was wrong. Last night some of the others were doing people on my list without telling me, and when I thought I'd gotten everything done, it was because others were helping me with parts of it. Grr. I feel like I'm totally lost, and don't know which way is up today... Which thing I should do... take the job in Dallas, or give up on CNA work, since it isn't the BEST thing in the world to me... and work at a coffee shop, or at a store, or something... or, what is so much more appealing, and equally more impossible... I'd love to just up and move to TX, to Alpine, live with Robin there, and get a job around that area... or... find a school with massage therapy open... NOW.... and/or pharmacy technician....
Why is it that those things that are so appealing are so difficult? I know I CAN"T just up and move to Alpine right now- first of all, I don't have the money to do so, and it would be really hard. Second, I don't know if I want to do that right now with no skills any further advanced than a CNA, because I'd like to work as a pharmacy tech at least... or massage therapist... or something... though Robin's working in housekeeping, and she's doing well... and she says there's a shortage of housekeeping people in Alpine... shortage of reliable people... But it wouldn't be smart right now... I'm sure of that.... but then... I don't know what WOULD be smart, either.... or if what would be SMART makes the difference in what is worthwhile to do... and so... I'm in this fight with myself and me, and my selfishness and my brain, and my mind, and my heart, and... ugh.

God- will you tell me what you really want me to do, yet?
I felt like driving and driving tonight... I did drive around Rice Lake a couple of times... but if it wasn't for the fact that my logical brain said "that makes no sense... what would you do then??"... I would have loved to just drive... just keep going down the freeway past Barron, past Eau Claire... past WI, and Illinois and Iowa... and all the way to Texas... because I feel kind of... lonely, and I really wanted a hug.... from a certain someone who isn't here.

More different stuff....

2006-11-29T00:49:00.000-06:00

Work was good...I worked on the opposite hall as Stephanie, so I didn't really have to deal with her much... though she did go out of her way to boss me once... she frustrates me. And I think I frustrate her.

I asked the DON about day hours- she has a part-or 3/4 time shift (not sure which she meant) with days during the week and evenings on my weekends. This sounds good to me because then I'll work from 6am-2pm... and then be DONE for the day. And Stephanie will not be there. And so I will not have to deal with her... or put people to bed, and worry about forgetting important things doing that. I think there will be a lot more answering call lights, and feeding people TWO different meals, and getting them up and washed and dressed... but then it's getting them UP instead of laying them DOWN... and so it's a little different... because you don't have to worry about all of the same safety measures when you're leaving them up and awake, as you do at night... and you don't have to brush their dentures again, because they're clean from the night before. And you GIVE people hearing aids, rather than try to remember to take them away. And it goes on... etc......

So I am soon going to start getting up at 5am and going to bed at 9:30 or 10pm. Yeah.

But I didn't forget so much today- though I was still slow- though I think I'm getting fractionally faster. And what do you know... next I'll be switching over to day hours... and I'll be back at the bottom of a learning curve again. Oh well. I'm not sure whether I want to say "yay"... or "aww.. :( "... . because it's unknown territory still. Yeah.

Time for me to go to bed... it's 1am.... but YAY , I don't work tomorrow.- though I work Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday after that.... I do really hope I have Monday off after that... and I'd BETTER not have to work in the AM that day- they'd better not start me on AM shifts on Monday.... that would be... cruel... getting home at 10:30PM Sunday, and then getting up at 5am Monday?... eww. No thank you.

So. Anyway. Nice paycheck coming. :) Especially since they're giving me a lot of hours. Holli tells me I'm basically getting full time hours right now... which is only annoying because I requested part time.

Goodnight/morning.

~Danette

reposted request...

2006-11-29T00:43:00.001-06:00

I did put this in an email I sent to some dear friends recently, but I thought I'd repost it here for those of you who read my blog and whom I forgot or don't have email addresses for...

11/26/06-----------
I'm doing well... tired, though.. :) and more tired of working than tired physically...

I do like my working- the working with the residents and such, anyway... talking with them, helping them, etc... It's the forgetting things/dealing with my coworkers... One of whom, Stephanie, seems to be frustrated with my slowness and ignorance... and she frustrates ME by treating me like I'm pathetic and I'm going to forget everything, just because I forget something ONCE... I will at least say to my favor that I haven't messed up on the same things again after I was reminded/corrected on them. It feels like I'm dreadfully slow- today we were shortstaffed, and I was working by myself, and I fell way behind... and Stephanie came in and informed me that I needed to pick up the pace "because you have a difficult list, and you're really slow,".... And... um... yeah. I think I want to see if I can get day work hours for part/all of the time- because it would be so much nicer if I didn't have to deal w/Stephanie, and I think that I'd also be better off if I didn't have to work putting people to bed- there'd be less things to forget.

Tonight I felt a mixture between crying and screaming, and pulling my hair out, at work. Working with residents is enjoyable! I like helping them, and talking with them, etc. I'm not squeamish like I thought I might be. But after tonight, I feel really tempted to go job-hunting for something not at a nursing home, perhaps an office-assistant job, or a coffee shop, or something... or maybe some combination of a couple of them- but something different than this nursing home- because I don't think I'll grow to enjoy it- and that maybe I'm just not cut out for having to work with coworkers in that environment the same way. I like having time to work with people- actually spend time with them, that is... not race around taking care of them and not treating them like people who like to socialize and talk to me once in awhile. But today I actually didn't forget much in patients' rooms, and I didn't stand around doing NOTHING... I just guess I move sort of slowly over all while working there. Maybe I can find a home-health care job, or apply at the medical staffing solutions place to work as a "fill in" at different places... I don't know exactly. Just that this is frustrating me tonight... and that I dread going back tomorrow...

Sorry you're getting such an outpouring of words from me right now... but I'm a bit tired, and stressed, and I wish my prince was here to give me a hug, and pray with me, and tell me all will be ok.
I want a post-it note to fall from heaven telling me I'm making the right choices, and that things will work out well, because I'm doing the right thing. And I want to get a degree in something- and kind of want to take university classes- to be with the people, get the challenge, the education, the learning... but I don't want to spend more time in school- except for the pharmacy technician program that I want to take, and/or the massage therapist program that I want to take... that one by the way, is in Rice Lake at WITC, and I'm on its wait list... and I'm hoping to go to a meeting on Dec. 6th that could be a possibility to let me off the waiting list and into the course. Pray that it will open up and let me in- because first of all, it's something I really enjoy, second, it's an excuse to have way fewer work hours, and third, the program would take from Jan.through August, and then be DONE.
Just overall, pray for me, because I'm having a stressful time.

Certified Nursing Assistant,... Occupation: CNA

2006-11-19T00:29:00.000-06:00

Well, not only do I have my CNA certification... but I now have a job. I'm working at a nursing home in Barron.... where I work from 2-10pm most days... and every other weekend and holiday. I believe I'm making about $10/hr, and I've worked 36hrs this week... and in the next two weeks I'll work about 72hrs... yech. Not incredibly desireable work... but it's ok. It's not horrible, it's not that nasty... and the old people are nice. And most of them are very friendly. A few are confused... one of those is hilarious to interact with... she's funny, nice... and has alzheimers and acts like a seven-year old or so... Another lady acts like a very worried little girl, who thinks she's staying in a hotel in Burnsville, very sick, and doesn't think her mother knows where she is, and wants desperately to call and tell her... Then other times she's lucid and normal... and another lady just ... wanders.

Well.. I have to go to bed if I want to get up in the morning in time for church....

~Danette

CNA Results...

2006-11-09T23:17:00.000-06:00

I passed my test!
I thought it would be sooo much harder than it was... and I passed! I wish I could see just how well/bad I did, though... but all of the information I got about it said "PASS" rather than a grade.
Today I went around the area getting and filling out applications to work... and got a call from Riverside Manor nursing home- asking me if I'd like to come to an orientation thing on Monday at 11... so I may just have found myself a job on my first day of job-hunting!

A really interesting thought... (well- to me, anyway)

2006-10-31T10:10:00.000-06:00

...my waiting is soon to be over.

I have been waiting to be able to take my CNA test... waiting for Eric to come visit... and most recently, waiting to get a job, and to find out when my aunt and uncle are moving so that I could see if I could go help them.
On the first account- My test is Friday... I hope I pass... because I really don't want to have to take it again- or get another job in defeat..
On the second matter: It's almost November... tomorrow is the first. And that means there's only November and most of December left before he comes to see me. And that's really awesome.
In the third front... I will be able to get a job no later than taking my test... and then I shall hunt down a place of employment and secure a position.
Fourthly: my aunt and uncle are moving in the next two weeks or so... and thus, I shall likely go to visit them and help them pack and move. And then get the job. Thus, giving me a little bit of leeway in my timing of the job.. a little more break before it, to figure out what I am doing in January...
I think I've found a long-distance pharmacy technician program.. I learned that WI has no real rules regarding pharmacy technicians... and that the requirement to take the pharmacy technician certification test is almost nothing.. Basically, any program that will teach me enough to pass the test will work. And most places I could work say "formal training" rather than anything specific... and so this would work.
It's about $500 dollars total... (well, supposedly $800 with a $300 discount lasting three more weeks... hrm...) and it IS accredited with the government organizations... heh- if DANTES- the military funding type program... is willing to put their money into this school's training... it has to be legitimate, at least... Still thinking on it... figuring I will need to just get a part-time job for now- and do the training along side of it. According to the website- http://www.pennfoster.edu/pharmacy/index.html
there're a LOT of things to memorize.. The program appeals to me so far- because they DO have a page of accreditation information, and a page of the content of the program... I still need to compare the information covered, with that covered by the Pharmacy Technician Certification Test... (which is a voluntary test... but with it you make around a third more money than without...) the PTCT test website gave a list of everything that's in the test- skills and knowledge they expect you to know... so I think I need to make sure that whatever program I choose covers it all. But that's good. I can do that.
:) so.. things are looking a little less upside-down for me now... All I have left is the difficult-to-answer-but-good-idea-to-think-about questions that I keep getting from a certain someone... :) And trying to decide what is going to be my answers for some of them... :) (I appreciate the questions, though! I REALLY do...)

:) well.. I need to go... but here was your update..

~Danette

a link to think about...

2006-10-26T17:06:00.000-05:00

I read this recently on my friend Chris Nielson's blog... ... not sure entirely yet what I think about it...

A Christian Perspective on Marriage

....redirection.... and a note.

2006-10-21T23:05:00.000-05:00

I don't feel like writing an extra blog entry today... so here- check this out-

http://ispiratio.blogspot.com my other blog.

oh- I heard back from the Red Cross and state about my CNA test... I now have a date- Nov. 3rd...9AM... Hayward.

yay.

:) Lists...

2006-10-15T16:24:00.000-05:00

Here's a fun list... it has a hundred and fifty things on it... the bolded/colored items are those that I've actually done... :) I found this on my former pastor's blog- http://biffsworld.blogspot.com/

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment – who hasn’t? (me, apparently...)
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking- with Brita and Hanne... being silly sometime probably...
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage (church platform?)
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music (um.. with a mic and my computer count?)
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane- yep, those Young Eagle things at the airport... :) copiloted, at least... for a minute or so.. lol
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet- (for a week...)
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (I have no idea... Camp recovery time comes to mind... or being sick..)
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (I killed a baby chick once... but we didn't eat it. It was suffering and dying so I killed it.)
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office (not public... Lighthouse Society Vice President, though)
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

If you would like to participate then cut and paste into your blog and highlight the stuff you have done. Do me a favor and leave a comment so I can read about your "accomplishments."

late-night musings...

2006-10-11T23:23:00.000-05:00

Sitting here... I should really be in bed but I'm not... I am trying to come up with something else to write... something to share about my life. It's good exercise for me in writing, in a way... because it gets me into practice of putting what all is in my head, into words that I can write down... or alternatively, tell to the person who needs or wants to hear them.

Lately I've been wasting a lot of time. I've been spending it selfishly, not thinking or caring enough about my siblings desires, or my parents', to have me interacting with them a lot. I've been kind of almost treating my bedroom as a dorm room type thing... where I live here.... and spend my time here... and not downstairs with a most of the rest of my family. It's kind of stupid. And I need to change that. But it's so... easy. And without schoolwork to do right now- hanging out downstairs while my siblings are doing school stuff... it isn't a lot of fun. Kind of boring. I end up wandering around doing nothing, or doing little bits of something that aren't all that significant... Until I get a phone call. Or a message on Google Talk... Or an email. Or I think of checking/updating my blog. Or, as of late, I waste time playing with this one online strategy game thing- called Survival Guide. I'll admit... I never would have really started playing the thing in the first place if it wasn't that Eric liked it... but it's kind of... grown on me, and is kind of fun... though for that matter, the REASON it's fun, is that it's a competition... a challenge... something I don't have a LOT of in my life right now.

I need to get some action into my days... Starting tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to bed.

:)

Graduated...

2006-10-09T18:32:00.000-05:00

I am now officially done with my CNA course... I graduated October 5th, from the WITC CNA program. Now all I have left is my Promissor test... and finding a job. That shouldn't be too hard though, because there were about five or six CNA positions in one of the newspapers the other day... some of them sounded kind of neat.

I am really excited that I know what I'm doing... that I am able to say "I know what I'm doing now"... and in January, I will know what my plans and schedules are. Today I sent my Promissor application in, along with the $100 test fee... (ouch!) Now I just have to wait for them to get back to me and tell me when my test is.

I am bored right now... Don't want to go to bed... but don't have anything I want to DO, either...
:)

oh well.

Vertigo....

2006-10-02T11:14:00.000-05:00

Wow... This is neat... David & Denise Hamner, my relatives, and their magic... :)

Hmm.

2006-09-28T18:22:00.000-05:00

Well, after some communication... I think my future is looking a little more put together... I have decided fairly surely what I am doing in January... and it will be the same thing I am doing after I get my CNA... working. Working, saving money, working, spending money when I need to, working, saving money, working, having fun and socializing, working, missing Eric, working, talking to him on the phone... :) Getting the picture? I will find some good scholarly books to read as well- maybe some things I can learn from, without them being too dry and boring... And definitely some more Terry Pratchett.
A big weight has fallen from me, having learned that my parents are not going to be disappointed with me if I don't go back to school in January... The choice to stay out of school for now has been in my mind for awhile... and while I do want more education eventually, January is not really the right timing for it. So I will work. And I will wait... though probably impatiently... for what comes next... I do know what I hope is coming next... though I shall try not to plan for it until I know for certain... :)

Things are looking up...
~Danette

Connect the dots...

2006-09-26T12:25:00.000-05:00

I have too many possibilities right now- like I'm standing at a crossroads of fifteen different roads, and all of them have something good about them, and something bad either visible to me or lurking in the shadows... and in one way I want to say "none of them are good- I want to fly away instead"... and at the same time, I do know which of the roads is most appealing to me- but it is also the one that trusted people tell me is fraught with danger... and so I wait- trying to find a suitable path for me right now- the one that God wants. I wish I could just make what I want automatically mold to be what God wants- or rather I wish I could make what God wants be what I want, and be able to choose selfishly... but I can't. And I wouldn't really exactly want to... I'm confused. Now would be a really good time for God to float me down a heavenly post-it note telling me what his plan for me is- or just the little immediate part of it- if I knew what He wanted me to do just this year... just after I finish my CNA.. where he wanted me to work, and for how long... I could deal with it. But it won't happen. And yet I still need to know what's going on.. what I can do about it all...
I am sure that at one level, this entire experience is meant to teach me to trust God more- because it is so easy for me to take my plans, call them MINE, and run with them, rather than letting Him choose my path... and then I am confused because I do know that as one pastor said recently in a message I heard- "God doesn't care WHAT you do nearly as much as HOW you do it, and how you live"... Whether you're a plumber or an executive or a missionary- your goal is the same- to glorify God in everything you do- and responsibilities remain the same- fulfill the great commission, be a witness, show God's love, etc...
I have this dream in my head of what I would love to have happen to me- where I'd like to be in 5 or 10 years... it would be me married to Eric, perhaps having the beginnings of a family, (a child or two) him working with his theatre ministry, (which would be flourishing,) and whatever else he had to do for work,... me probably working part time at a nursing home or hospital or somewhere with my CNA (like on some weekends or a few nights per week,)... or with massage therapy or pharmacy technician (or something else that God brings to me to learn).... (part time, however that would work)... and homeschooling whatever children I have... I can imagine it- that if I was working on one day, children would be with Eric and his theatre stuff- learning things from him, and getting quite an education... and then other days I'd be home teaching them their math and reading and science and history and everything else.... and helping Eric however I am able, being involved with his ministry and everything else.... and this would most likely come to take place in the northwest- OR or WA, and then there'd also be the closeness to Amy, and just... good. That's how it kind of plays out in my head, anyway... :)

My problem is it feels like a connect-the-dots with two dots and a massive blank space in the middle- like the picture is supposed to be something particular, but somebody went and erased all the dots between the beginning and the end- and while I can see where I want to end up, I have no idea how I am supposed to get there, what paths will be in the middle or how things will be shaped or what they will look like.

Crumbling...

2006-09-22T17:02:00.000-05:00

What are you supposed to do when the path starts to crumble in front of you? When the bridge that you were going to cross over collapses? Today I found out that the massage therapy program that I wanted to get into this January is full with a waiting list... and so I won't be doing that... so now I am unsure of what's supposed to happen. I thought everything was falling together so well... I was getting (still am) my CNA... I actually worked with a CNA my first night of clinicals who was a massage therapist at the hospital as well... that was really neat!.... and now, the crash-and-burn aspect. Maybe why I am trying so hard not to plan big things, is that it really hurts when they smash... and it's confusing when I don't know what I am supposed to do next. I'm not at UWEC anymore... so it's not like I'm in the middle of a program, and think "OK.. I just do this next year, and the next...etc....." and be done that way. I was taking a short program that would be done in early August. And now what? I don't know!
I just feel like I wish I could have Eric here to give me a hug and make everything better... even if he just hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder... I miss him. And this makes me miss him more... and confuses what is going on in my life... when will I be done with school? What will I do?
It's also difficult to be having all of this happen when to top it off I feel quite isolated right now. It may not be true reality- but it's the reality that I feel and see and experience... that right now I don't fit in. At all. I don't know why this is- because I fit in all right last year... didn't I? Or was it just that I hadn't yet experienced fitting in at all... and now, coming from a place that I fit, and then going to another place that I fit, and meeting a person that I fit with... and now being here, where I feel like a round peg in a square hole- I am in a space that is big enough for me- but there are gaps, and it doesn't fit right... it goes through the hole and I survive... but not comfortably, not happily, not easily...
I wish I could take a photograph of my heart and post it for all of the Christians in my life to see- to let them know what I need, how I am feeling and what's going on for me... because it's too difficult to share it with so many people- I don't believe there are any people at my church right now that I really would be willing to be accountable to... just because it's weird... and somehow I don't want to be quite that close to them... I think. I want someone to come into my life like I came to a friend's.... where I would feel comfortable sharing anything at all- anything I was dealing with, anything I was struggling with or doing wrong/right.... anything. But that takes a certain relationship with that person... it takes trusting them fully not to reveal what you tell them to people that don't need to know... and trusting that they're not going to start treating you differently just because you share something you're struggling with... and someone who you can know will be praying for you every day- whether you've talked to them that day or not. And I guess, at some level... I don't have that type of person in my life, anywhere close to home. There's a wonderful lady in TX that has managed to be some of this for me- but she's not here. Eric would be a LOT, if not almost all of this for me... but he hasn't married me yet- and so there are certain things I don't feel like I need to tell him.
I am so drained lately- of energy, both emotional and some physical- I'm tired of dealing with the frustration of not fitting in, of having plans cave in, of having to figure out new things to do, and to try to understand what kind of timing will work for things... I want to be done... and I can't be. I want to just hide away and not have to come out for about a week and a half- and just spend that time the way I need (and want) to- reading my bible, thinking, praying, probably reading a book or two, and recharging... (and of course, I'd probably be talking to Eric and Peg and perhaps Robin too, some) and yet, I can't really do that.... but I am just tired. Tired of waiting for school to be all over, and for time to pass so new things can happen, and waiting until I can see Eric again, and waiting for everything else that I am waiting for....

"Let patience have its perfect work"...... grr. That pops into my head- I do need to be patient... but.. but.... it's so difficult!

Rememberings...

2006-09-22T10:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I opened up my Gmail account to a very specific collection of messages. They were all of the ones I've ever received from Eric. (Yes, Eric.. I have them all... I hope that doesn't scare you...) I went back to the beginning of the file... and started reading. It was so neat to look at how I have grown, and how so much has changed since the early days of knowing Eric.. to now. Yes, I met him in person in June... and it hasn't been all that long chronologically since then... but let's see... the first contact I had with him was January 31st... :-) And since then, it has been awhile.
Reading what Eric wrote to me, and what I wrote to him... I saw that we really did manage to maintain a friendship-only relationship throughout the time before June 12th.. the day I arrived at camp... Then a week into camp, came the question... "Where are we going with this? What do you want out of this right now?"... and my answer, "I am waiting to be pursued..." and thus the pursuing of Danette began.. :-) Through the summer I came to know Eric closer and better... and began to love him. I thought hard about everything that was happening to me... was I infatuated, or was I being foolish? Or was it just reality that I had found my prince? I wrote a blog post about my confusion, quite awhile back.. I believe it's titled "Love..."
Farther and farther into the summer... I discovered that I had indeed, found my prince. He was willing to protect and encourage me... and he did so on several occasions. He was and is a complete gentleman, and I felt like a princess around him. I was able to be utterly comfortable around him, and felt like if it were prudent, I could be comfortable with telling him anything... (though I refrain somewhat because he is not YET able to be my closest confidant and friend... because there's a certain ceremony that has to precede that.)
So much has happened in my life this year- from the venturing off to college last fall, to dealing with living with my grandmother, to living in the dorms, and having a biblestudy with girls my age, to really having a social life for the first time, to being on my own, being independent for a semester... to meeting Eric, and working at camp, and all that went along with it- good and bad- and growing to love him so much it hurts- as I wait impatiently for the time when I get to see him again- sometimes I miss him so much I want to cry (and occasionally shed a few tears)... and when I talk to him, I often wish I could reach through the phone line and give him a hug... (or maybe have WonkaVision, and be transported through the television...though perhaps at much less of a size reduction)
This year I was the vice president of an organization, I organized buying our pro-life t-shirts and gave the idea of bracelets to Carla... I shared my burdens when family was going through difficult situations and circumstances, and prayed with the many Christian friends I had.
It was amazing how many Christians there are at UWEC... I sorely wish I could be back there... but at the same time I know God has another plan for me... and UWEC isn't part of it. It was a part- a very important part.. but now it's over... and this next part seems to be one in which I learn how to survive the dry time when I don't have the same level of fellowship, the same environment... and perhaps a time of me dealing with my pride and hurt stemming from us leaving Calvary in Barron- with the no-contact from members, and the rejection I felt when none of the kids seemed to be friendly when I saw them... though to begin with, I always felt like I was on the outside... never the inside. At school, I got the greatest blessing when I had people tell me "don't be cautious about sitting with us at dinner- if we're here, you're welcome." I had been eating by myself for quite awhile- all because I was too concerned about intruding on the others... It meant so much to me to have people invite me to do things with them- and it made me feel wanted and included... that's one thing that seems kind of missing here back at home- Kimmy invited me to go with her on her errands to Rice Lake today. That was nice... but not the same.... and she's only one person.

a watched pot never what??

2006-09-19T19:24:00.000-05:00

Why is it that whenever we are paying attention to something, or we are trying to wait for something, or count something... it always seems to take longer, than when we're enjoying something, or wishing it would last longer?
The microwave, for example. You can set it for 3 minutes.... and the seconds seem to last forever. A pot of water that's supposed to boil... it takes forever if you're waiting for it.
Class takes forever if you are waiting for it to be over, and waiting in line at the DMV... yeah.. that actually DOES take forever... but... the other stuff doesn't!
Contrasting, whenever you're enjoying a moment so much you want it to keep going forever... it only lasts a moment. The summer that I would have liked to have last indefinitely, was over right on schedule... and my time to spend with people I love seems to evaporate whenever I desire it.
I suppose this should make me think about the fact that if I stop paying attention to the waiting, it will go faster, and I should start paying more attention to the people I love that are here, and have more time with them...
but.... even though I see that as true... and that I need to DO something with the time I have... that doesn't make it easy. It doesn't make it easy to put out of my mind what I WANT to focus on... and to think about other things, other things I can do...

But I will be trying.

~Danette

Cold....

2006-09-19T11:19:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here typing this blog entry, and my fingers are freezing... it's cold. I'm being a wimp... it's supposedly 70 degrees in the house... but outside it's 45 degrees.... (claims on weather.com that it feels like 40 outside...) and a bit windy... and... brr.

Thank you God for heaters... now I just have to wait until my dad turns ours on.... Every fall it's always a matter of "How long can we last without the heater?".... the same goes for the A/C in the summer... :-)

Verses for the day: Romans 5:1-11

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

Things about me...

2006-09-12T21:16:00.000-05:00

1. I like giving people things. I love having occasions to give people gifts... I don't have to receive a lot of them... but I love giving them to people. I had an enormous amount of fun the other day, assembling a box of goodies to send to Eric... because as I was finding things, I was thinking about how he would like them, what he would think when he opened the box, whether he'd appreciate some of the stuff I put in there... and what I could do to make it more special... It wasn't till I was shopping that I remembered some of his likes and dislikes... (i.e. looking at things with chocolate because he likes chocolate... but this one and that one, that looked good... also had nuts in them... and he said he didn't like nuts......and "ooh... I know he likes that...") and it was fun... hunting for things... and thinking about him...

2. Music is important to me. Whether I am driving along in my car by myself, or sitting at my computer at home, or taking a walk... Music is important in my life. It calms me down sometimes when I am frustrated or upset, it relaxes me when I am stressed, I sing my praises to God with it, and I enjoy it.

3. Sometimes I upset people on accident... I don't mean to, but it happens. I am a sensitive person, and it makes me sad to know that I upset someone. But it hurts more to upset someone, and then find out later that I did so, than it does for them to tell me right away. I still don't like knowing I hurt someone... but knowing is better than not knowing.
Some of the time this upsetting people is done, though inadvertently, because of selfishness... I push too hard or complain about something when I shouldn't... and someone's feelings are hurt. And then, especially if it's someone I love a lot... it makes me sad. It brings tears to
my eyes on occasion.

4. I like to plan things. This gets the best of me sometimes... I plan things, look forward to them, pay a lot of attention to them, and then have them crumble... after spending too much energy in them... Or, alternately, I plan something, and then, because I planned it, feel obligated to stick with it... like when I was a nursing major at UWEC. I would have been willing to stick with that major and everything through the end of my school stuff... and getting my degree... all because I COULD, and could enjoy learning, and taking the classes.... but when I got out of school... I would have a degree, yes, but not necessarily for any other reason than "I followed through." Or any of a multitude of times in my life... when I make a decision, I have this thing about sticking with them... it's probably both good AND bad...

5. I can't always communicate things the way that I mean them. If I have an awkward topic to broach, if I can't manage to bring it up properly, and it comes out kind of passively... it's still something important to me... and I just couldn't communicate it right. Sometimes I write something and it's perceived differently than it was meant... but generally, that means I didn't look at it enough afterwards to see if it was expressed properly.

6. I am somewhat of a perfectionist. This is sometimes expressed by me working very hard to do a task correctly, and also by me desiring and expecting other people to do the same. Sometimes it can be hard for me to comprehend that other people do not share my work ethic and the need I have to get a job done right. Sometimes I give myself too much stress, by choosing to do things myself, rather than ask for help, when I know that another person would not care as much about doing it right. I would rather take a long time doing a job well, than run over it quickly and have my boss look at it later and see how bad it was. Sometimes this characteristic disappears temporarily when I'm at home with my parents, and sometimes I find myself being quite careless... whereas if I was working at a business, or at camp, or somewhere else, I would be doing my best. This is a reality, but not one that I am trying to excuse.

7. I am an overachiever. I often worked too hard at college last year, because I would be set on studying WELL, and doing everything precisely right. As time went on, I learned that I could sometimes skip the studying, and STILL get the A... depending on the class... If I got less than an A, I was disappointed, and scolded myself for not working hard enough... because I know I can do well enough to get As. If I got too many grades that weren't an A... (like that most of my quizzes in my ANTH 315 class were 16/20 and 17/20... which look like such small numbers when I look at them, along side all of the red squiggles on the paper) I began to worry that I wouldn't get a very good grade in the class.... (in the aforementioned class, I ended up getting an A after all...) It's almost... disappointing that my CNA class is not requiring much brainpower work at all... very simple things my teacher says, and teaches... and the tests are easy... and I feel like I always know the answers to the teacher's questions... and then I try not to answer them, so I don't look like a know-it-all... *sigh*

8. I like lists today.

9. I started another blog, called "Ispiratio"... It is the more thoughtful/devotional type writing I've done.
:-)

10. I will continue with lists another day. For now, this is enough.

... Danette

lacking...

2006-09-10T21:15:00.000-05:00

I seem to be lacking "normal" post subjects... and I must apologize, I've currently nothing so "thoughtful" to post as I did before...

There IS something about fire that I wrote a couple of weeks ago.. here that is...

----I was sitting in front of the campfire tonight, watching the embers ripple and glow in the flames. The fire danced in the firepit, and Brita and Hanne giggled as they rolled in the grass tickling each other. The crickets chirped in the night, but the bugs generally stayed away from the heat of the fire. The radiant heat felt good on my face, and I almost wished that there was another fire behind me, so that all of me could be bathed in the toasty warmth that emanated from the pit. It was so beautiful. So deadly and dangerous fire is... and yet it is delicate looking, and gorgeous.
It makes me think about how similarities may be drawn from that, to relationships. A fire is good for warmth, but if it gets out of hand, it can burn down forests. What was so trusted inside a campfire ring is deadly, dangerous, and destructive if it gets out of control. Our passions have been likened to a flame, and I see that is a very accurate depiction. If we do not take measures to contain our passions properly, they can be as destructive as the flame that spread into a wildfire and destroyed forests. Without restraint, we can be easily tempted to go too far in our physical and emotional relationships, and without guards set beforehand, these passions can take control and things can happen that we really come to regret.

And now something new.

There is an apple tree in my yard... It is very old, weathered,with gnarled branches, but full of fruit. It has had a very long, somewhat eventful life... Branches have died, a storm ripped off a whole half of the tree, part of the trunk rotted, birds have attacked its apples... and every year, we go and pull the apples it has worked so hard to grow off the tree for harvest. Its roots are deep, its fruit beautiful, and the tree is quite hardy.
In our lives, we come across so many things that are difficult, or hurtful, or unpleasant... but through these, God can take us, and grow us, and teach us things. When the apple tree was small, it had weak roots, could not bear much fruit, and could not survive very much in the way of harsh elements. As it grew, it became stronger, the roots dug deeper and were anchored more sturdily, and its fruit became more abundant. One day, the tree was lush and beautiful, bearing much fruit... and then the storm came. Half the tree was destroyed. Some of its branches died. Birds pecked holes in its beautiful apples... and yet, the tree continued to grow. It stood resolutely in the yard. The master gardener many times, considered uprooting it and throwing it into the bonfire... but each time, the tree would produce more fruit than the master gardener expected, and the tree would be spared. After all of the damage that the tree sustained, it only produced more fruit. It became stronger through the trials and tests, and more productive. You see, it was pruned. We had not pruned it in our entire lives, but God pruned the apple tree, when he sent that storm through... It was a rather drastic job of pruning, but it was necessary, and improved the tree.
When we have hard things happen to us, when we have our "branches", our hopes and dreams and plans crumble, what does it do for us? When a major disaster comes through our lives, and we cannot understand why, how do we react to it? The apple tree reacted to the storm with growth and strength... Are you willing to let God grow and strengthen you, amidst disaster?

Class...

2006-09-09T11:10:00.000-05:00

Though I am very happy that I am getting to take my CNA class right now... I miss UWEC! I miss the English classes, and the giggling and having fun with friends down the hall, and the being free to do as I saw fit, and going to Bible-study with my Christian friends, and going to Jacob's Well church on Sundays, and going out to coffee with my grandmother on Wednesdays, and always being busy, or having some down-time as well, and the sense of community, etc...etc...etc...... It was so much fun. And so growing. And now I am back here, at home. Or rather, the home I grew up in.... I don't exactly fit the same way anymore. And I don't even want to consider that if I am still around after Brita goes to college... I will REALLY not fit... and feel lazy, and etc...etc...etc...

I think it's good for me to be here at home... because it makes me grow and learn in different ways... Especially patience. I am having to learn patience... though somewhat involuntarily. I don't want to wait around for an indefinite amount of time for my Daddy to tell me what he thinks of Eric. I don't want to have to wait, to have to have the time pass, for me to finish classes. I just want to have my credentials now, and be done... But I am waiting... I am learning patience... and it will continue, I suspect, until I have learned it.

On the brighter side, God has been moving a lot of things in my path to be there precisely right... I believe that the CNA program was what He had for me... I learned in class the other day, that this class generally has a waiting list, and it can be hard to get into at times... I decided to take the course some time in the end of July... and had no problems getting in. I am surprised that this is so, and all I can chalk it up to, is that I am following an acceptable path, and God is enabling me... I also learned that to get reciprocity for my CNA in another state, there's basically a form to fill out... and that's it. And my massage therapy program lets me become a nationally-registered massage therapist... so I won't have problems with that transferring....

I just finished reading "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris... I was surprised with it. I expected that the book would basically say "Don't go out on a "date" by yourselves"... and to completely submit to parental authority concerning relationships, and a whole lot of other stuff similar to that. But it doesn't. It says "Don't act in a way that isn't backed up by your level of commitment,"..."alone-time as a couple is important... but don't make ALL your time this way".... "Make your choices with counsel... but that doesn't mean you are to let your counsel make your decisions for you... YOU are the one that needs to have faith and be willing to marry another person... We are called to honor our parents- and that means listening to their counsel and considering it carefully... But since we are adults, we are not obligated to OBEY our parents in all things anymore... "... so... wow. It was different than expected... and it was refreshing. That the same guy who wrote "I kissed dating goodbye" is not saying that you cannot essentially "date" someone else... just not recreationally, or without serious intent. Courtship is another name, basically, for dating with a goal in mind- to determine whether or not a person is the one you will marry. It's not a rigid set of rules, but a mindset- and I found that really interesting to read, and made me go "wow... I can handle that..."... and made me realize that we haven't been doing anything really that different from Joshua Harris' book...
So it also helped me realize that I have been going about having my parents' approval in the wrong way... at least, I think so right now..... I desire their approval, but it is not so incredibly vital that it is impossible to proceed without it. I desire it, and I am giving them a chance to grant it... and I will listen to their advice concerning my relationship... but unless their concerns are valid and biblical ones... I do not have to follow the advice. It makes me relax and remember that there are still MY choices... not my parents... and though I love them, and desire to honor them, ultimately, it will not be their decision...
I hope my post doesn't worry or scare anyone who's been reading it... :-) but oh well if it does. So... bother me about it? You're welcome to, if you think it's necessary.

~Danette

Every day...

2006-09-05T10:01:00.000-05:00

You know that song "Day by day"... Part of the lyrics go, "Day by day, and with each passing moment, strength I find, to meet my trials here" Well... that's what's been happening for me lately... If it wasn't for that grace and strength, all of life would seem so overwhelmingly busy and frustrating and difficult... But..."....His promises, they fail not.....no cause for worry or for fear" When I can put my worries in God's hands, he who promised never to leave me or forsake me, and he who cares more than anyone else about all of my silly little problems and struggles... and the God, who gives us abundantly more than we ask, can help me to overcome my struggles and problems, relax in the safety of his care, and bask in the sunshine of his love. It doesn't matter now, if I have to wait for something I've been looking forward to... God is in control, and knows what's best for me. It doesn't have to bother me that I don't know what's happening for sure beyond today, or that I don't have an idea of what's happening beyond Christmas break... Whatever happens, will be in God's perfect timing.
I should mention that I am writing this as much to tell about what I have, as to remind myself of it... I try to plan things too far ahead, and think too far in advance about what is to come, and get overly concerned about it when I don't need to be. But I'm working on it. And He's working on me. :-)

Time, and waiting.

2006-09-02T13:55:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it seems as if we are called to wait... to let time pass, before a certain thing can come into being... and other times, we're told "Don't waste your time!" or, "hurry- don't waste time now," or, "You're wasting time- don't wait for life to come to you.. go get it!"...
The question is, which times are best to wait and let time float by, and which situations should we take as they come at us, and run with them? There are a lot of things that I've experienced, in which it's best to just sit and wait for the right time or person or place for something... I did wait for a very special person to enter my life... but now, what kind of waiting do I need to do? If I already know who this special person is, and I know what I am willing to do for, and go through with this person... why wait indefinitely for the end that the two of us see as coming? I feel like there have been two choices- one a straight path to the edge of the unknown... the other a winding wiggly path, to the same place. If I know that's to be my destination... is there any reason to prolong the journey? But yet, this path that I must take seems to have checkpoints along the way... no shortcuts allowed. I must stop at the first checkpoint and receive permission and approval, before my travel-permit is stamped and given over to me, to continue my journey to the next checkpoint... and on it goes... and then I get to the end of my walking path, where I must wait for someone to come and invite me to continue on in their company...
...with all of this journey taken with only a general guidebook, and my Saviour helping me along the way.
I feel like there is that other, that straight path, which is out of bounds... which I would have to circumvent that first checkpoint to reach... and I would get to my destination much earlier, much less patiently, with less waiting... but when I would reach it, I would be in an entirely different state of being than by following the checkpoints and the rules, because I would reach it having broken the law that was set forth for me, and that which I have agreed to abide by.

I hope I have been properly abstract in this post... and yet.. that the right people will know who and what I am talking about... (if you think you're one of those right people, and you don't get it... email me. I'll explain.
Love,
Danette

Long walk...

2006-09-01T15:18:00.000-05:00

Whew!

I am finally back from my walk.. .I left right around 1:20... and I just got back... I walked up through Hillsdale and turned on the road that parallels Hwy 25 behind our property, (and someone else's in between ours and the road), and then after walking the length of that road back to where our property would be on the other side, I walked back, through the field of pine trees, and back into our property... except, and I always do this when I try going BACK through the woods...I get turned around inside those woods, and come out somewhere NOT where I thought I would... So I walked through the woods, ducking under branches and dodging brambles, (and walking through some spiderwebs, and having leaves and bugs bop me in the face..) up hills and down valleys, and finally, made it to the edge of the woods. Except it was the edge of the woods that was next to someone else's field... not ours. And I felt bad wandering through someone else's field to get to the road, and back to my house... so I just headed back up into the woods... albeit this time with a much better bearing on my location and which direction I needed to go... So then I just walked (hey, through some less brush-filled parts of woods... lots of pine trees had killed off most of the underbrush) through the pine trees and maple trees and oak trees and aspen trees and fir trees and poplar trees, and deer bushes and goldenrod and briars and thorn trees, and back towards home... When I got most of the way past the other person's field, the woods got a little messier, (the goldenrod and briars and thorn trees... plus some additional ancient barbed wire fence, and some more underbrush,) so I walked at the edge of the field, (through all of the goldenrod that was nearly as tall as I am... and the dead crunchy stuff, and thistles, and milkweed and grass... long grass.) until I got to the end of it, which is the border between our neighbor's property, and ours. So then I was back on our land.. and walking through the very thick alfalfa hay field, and picking a few flowers off the alfalfa as I went... to join the black-eyed-suzans and miniature daisies and other flowers that I found along my way.. (well.. all of them got found in the last stretch.. walking through the goldenrod I found the black-eyed suzans, and the daisies were in our alfalfa field... ) ... Now they're in a mason jar and look pretty...
Other than a couple of scratches on my legs, (and I think, a bit of sunburn) I am in one piece... but I remembered now, why I don't normally go walking that direction THROUGH the woods for exercise... it's really GOOD exercise... but not quite as fun as I'd like... partially because of all the gnats and mosquitoes and spider-webs, (and me walking face-first into them, and wondering if I've then got a spider on my head...)... But it was pretty out there.
And sorry... I didn't take any pictures, because it was cumbersome to bring my camera, and have to carry it the whole time.
Maybe next time
(oh... here is one added for your enjoyment post facto...

~Danette

Patience....

2006-08-30T22:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, I have been bitten by the bug of impatience. I am so impatient for the semester to start, and end, and any other remaining time to pass, before I get to see my prince again. I do miss him so... Yes, I get to talk to him on the phone, and chat with him, and email him... but he's still not HERE... and I really miss getting to share my life with him the same way that I was able to, this summer... Just getting to look up at the pretty stars, and look over at him, and mention how pretty they were... and him be there to notice them with me... Or when I smell how fresh and green and summery it smells outside... I want him to be able to be there, and smell it with me... or when I went to the beach in CA before I went home... I wished he was there to hunt for seashells with Brita and I. Or to climb on the rocks. Or to just wade in the ocean, and feel how nice it was outside. And then there's the rest of life... going places, doing things, talking with people... and I wish he was here to share THAT with me, too... Listening to my little brother reason out what he is going to give Eric when he marries me, as a wedding gift, based on whether or not Eric can repair an... electrical outlet... (by the way, Benjy is WAY early... Eric hasn't proposed to me or anything.. he has to get my Daddy's approval first...)
It is so funny how Benjy, and Hanne, and Brita, and my grandmother, and occasionally my mother... will all say something to the effect that they're already assuming I will marry Eric. My dad, on the other hand, is more serious, and is intently scrutinizing what he learns about Eric, to determine whether he's good enough for me.... (I just hope he can manage to save some of his determining for when he actually meets Eric in person...)
My grandmother was having so much fun the other day, digging out all sorts of pictures of me, to show to Eric... She had us bring them to WalMart, and scan them onto the computer, so that we could burn them on a CD, and I could mail it to him. I am not sure how many of those pictures I will share... He says I should just email them to him... but,.. um,... they're all OLD... the newest one she has of me in there, was my 13th birthday... six years ago?

Whether I have nothing to say, or I have too much that I want to share... I want to have Eric be here with me... When my siblings think it doesn't make any sense at all... It doesn't bother me to talk to him on the phone and have a long silence while neither of us says anything... there's still the feeling that the person is there... Yeah, Daddy says "If you have nothing to say, you should just hang up the phone and call another time when you DO...".. but... but... he's kind of right when he says "You just call, and pretend you're there with him for two hours over the phone"... not quite... but it's still kind of like being with him rather than being so many miles and hours away. And it doesn't cost me anything. So... there.... :-)
~Danette

sparse

2006-08-25T11:17:00.000-05:00

I noticed today quite how sparse my posting on my blog has been this summer... sorry! I promise I will do better this fall!.... um... I have to go to bed now...

good night!
Danette

Done...

2006-08-10T00:13:00.000-05:00

Well, after a long and interesting summer, I am done working at camp. Now I have about two weeks to spend at my aunt and uncle's house, before I fly home and get back to school. I love my aunt and uncle... especially since they were so willing to come and get me, (and Eric!) a few days early, and since they are so awesome as to let him come at all.. I thought that was kind of shocking, actually, that they invited him... it almost didn't feel.. "proper" as I'd expect it to be... though we are chaperoned for nearly all the time, so... :-)

I love the time I am getting to spend with Eric now without work... It's really really nice.

and I will miss it when I have to go home. But his cell phone came today... so I will be able to call and talk to him... :-) and he has my numbers. Yay.
Well, I have to go now... so ...

Lehitra'ot!
Danette

Sunshine... :-)

2006-08-04T16:44:00.000-05:00

I last posted a list of lessons from fog... now I thought I'd look at sunshine... or rather, sunshine and storms.
It can be sunny even when there's a thunderstorm minutes away... much in the same way that your day can go splendidly until moments before a disaster. During the sunny times of life, we often let our guard down, and forget that we are in a spiritual war against a very real enemy. We may stumble over something that would have been easy to avoid, were we on our guard. The storms of life can strengthen us and make us realize that we must rely on God... a lesson sometimes forgotten with the hard times passing.
Sunshine reminds me of God... all radiant and bright and warm. Very enthusiastic, and impossible to miss. It shines on everything, and even when we don't see it, it's still there. It's hot and pure and clean, with nothing impure in the sunshine. It's very powerful, able to power cities, burn things, light the darkness, and reveal secrets. It in its entirety is too much for us to handle.

Lessons from fog...

2006-07-30T19:57:00.000-05:00

It is foggy outside... it seems as though we are living in a cloud, where it seems that we have an island amidst white nothingness. Alone amongst the trees and fog, it seems so calm and peaceful.. but what can it teach us?
Sadly, the concept of fog seems to carry over to how many of us live our lives each day- in a fog, oblivious to those around us, their needs and hurts, and what we could do to make the light of Christ a little brighter for them.
We tend to see only the immediate, with those things a little farther into the future a little foggy in our view. What? Think about what's going on in our lives that will affect the future? Why? Now is what's going on, we tell ourselves, ignoring the glaring truth that what we do today will affect what happens tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that....
The illusion that we are islands by ourselves and independent of anyone else, can lead us to do foolish things, and ignore the consequences it may have on someone else. Not asking for help when we really need it, for instance. Letting ourselves become convinced that we are the only person in the entire world that has ever dealt with "this"...
Not seeing the people living around us can cause us to completely miss the ministry opportunity we could have to show Christ to those who need him, and show his Love to those who are hurting. It can cause us to fail to see the blessings God is holding out for us, if only we would take them.

More lessons to follow... :-)
hmm.. what next... Lessons from sunshine?

boo...

2006-07-30T12:40:00.000-05:00

It's RAINING! Foggy and wet, and RAINING, in Crestline CA. Weird. Strange. But True.

Changes...

2006-07-27T12:27:00.000-05:00

And now for a bit of news pertaining to school...

I'm leaving UWEC. I will really miss all of my friends here, but I feel like it's not God's will for me to stay. There is no program there for me, and there is a massage therapy program at the WITC in Rice Lake, that I am intending to take... and also perhaps get my associate's degree in nursing.
I will really have to make sure that I come and visit you lovely people at UWEC sometimes.. and I still will be praying for you all.
Your sister in Christ,
Danette

hi...

2006-07-25T19:39:00.000-05:00

Pray for me this week... I've had several issues come up in my life that I've had to deal with- one of the biggest of which, being that I need to learn to show more grace to others- I've been working really hard, and expecting everyone else to do everything I do, and expecting them to always measure up to my expectations... and it's been wrong.. all it's done is cause strife... so please pray that I will remember to show outwardly to others all of the grace and compassion that Christ gave to me to give them.

And thank God that he gave me Eric today- because he was a real blessing today, to have around amidst the conflict.

Still growing and changing...
Danette

yay...

2006-07-17T20:17:00.000-05:00

I've been at camp for a little over half the summer... and I love it. I wish I never had to leave. It's gloriously fun....
not to mention I have a pursuer here, who does spontaneous and very nice things... he just sent me an email with four words in it... "I love you. Eric." and a second ago he walked in where I have been cleaning in the coffee shop, and handed me a small bright pink flower. :-)
and he will randomly lean over and whisper to me, "You're beautiful." It means a LOT to me to be told I am beautiful by someone other than my family...

Well- that's all I can write for today.

~Danette

isolated...

2006-07-03T12:29:00.000-05:00

The internet was/is down for the past few days, and since my phone cards have died, it left me kind of isolated from my email and my blog... but oh well.. Here I am again.
It is beautiful here. I will have to get a picture of what center camp looks like at night. But for now, here are some pictures of people... see if you can figure out who....

the choices are:
Carrie Jo; Eric; Me; Lucretia.

(hint... Carrie Jo is trying to hide her face. Eric snapped the picture at the perfect moment to still get to see her pretty smiling face.)

Well.. That's enough new information for you, for now, anyway...

~Danette

today...

2006-06-21T18:03:00.000-05:00

I've been at camp for over a week now... and I am having lots of fun. It's hard work, long hours... but nice people to work with!

A lot of other things have been developing in the last week, though I shall not share those just yet... maybe later I will do a longer update, with more details- but for now- hee hee... wait and see....

I would give more details, but I am not sure whether I should or not, so... :-)

Leave it to say, I am being pursued. Who, and all other details are not up for your perusal at this time. *smile*

bye!

Danette
aka "Lily" at camp...

At camp at last...

2006-06-13T15:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I arrived at camp. After unloading, Aunt Vicki and Uncle Gene took me to the store to get bug spray and nail polish remover.... and then we returned to camp... Aunt Vicki and Uncle Gene have a source of fresh flowers... and so when a truck came in loaded with flowers, I was sent to camp with a LOT of them.... But then, I went to my room, and discovered that I had no room for them, at all..... Too bad..... So I brought the flowers to the office ladies. They are enjoying them, I think... and I have an idea that they won't be forgetting my name any time soon... lol....
Then, last night, a few new friends talked me into going to a movie with them.... "X-Men....something".... It was pretty good... fun listening and participating in discussion about it afterwards..... :-)

Today I got to start working... All sorts of things to do- painting, moving boxes... cleaning the Malt shop before it opens today. Not nearly as bad cleaning it as when we cleaned the Canteen at home, though. :-)

Got to go...

~Danette

To Grandma's House I go... (and then to camp afterwards)

2006-06-02T16:30:00.000-05:00

It's the last weekend before I fly out...
Time is getting shorter...
And my list of things to DO is staying the same...
It's nice, though- I DO have a nice list made up now of all the things I have to pack...
And unlike the font in this post....
my list is getting
Bigger- not smaller, as time goes on.

I just hope I remember to pack everything!

This summer is going to be a lot of fun... and interesting. It's a new experience made up of new experiences followed by more new experiences- first, flying by myself- then, visiting my relatives in CA by myself... then going to work on staff at a summer camp... and GOING to that camp at ALL for the first time... and working in a coffee shop for the first time, and having all of my own responsiblity for the first time, etc... it just keeps going, and going, and going, and going... and my summer, I am afraid, will be very very short...

Now I should actually get around to looking at the clothes I am bringing with me this summer, and taking an inventory.....

~Danette

It's coming....

2006-05-25T23:21:00.000-05:00

I am excited and nervous about my trip out to CA... Excited, because it is going to be an awesome experience for me.... and nervous, because I have no idea what the summer will bring.... who will I meet? What will I do, exactly?
I know what's on my job description... but what will transpire for me this summer? It is definitely going to be quite an experience....

I don't know what will happen, but whatever happens will be good.-- because everything works together for good... no matter how nasty the circumstances, how unpleasant the tasks at hand, or how disappointing an outcome is... God uses it all for his glory... and I am SO glad- I can't mess his plan up- because it's bigger than me!

home...

2006-05-19T23:03:00.000-05:00

Yeah.. I got home now. and I am glad. Glad to be done with school for the summer... glad to be going to camp in a little while, glad that I get to go back to school in the fall.. glad that some of my friends are still going to be in OR 2W next semester with me... and just overall, glad for a break!
I arrived last night at around eight thirty... then I played a lot of games of Dutch Blitz, against my sisters, (and lost... except for twice or so...) had lots of fun, munched on some snack mix, and talked in the dark with my sister for awhile before we went to bed. Today we played MORE Dutch Blitz, planted some seeds in the garden, and lazed about my house, (heh- I just looked it up to see if "lazed" was a word...) doing nothing much, other than looking through my things and attempting to put them into order a bit... made a lot of progress, by the way!

I have also been thinking about my preparations for camp- figuring out what I have to pack, what I need to bring, (waiting for a packet from the camp, still... hope I get it soon!) etc... Camp's coming up soon... I leave on June 6! and I still have SO much to do... and it just seems to be coming so very soon... I don't want camp to come as soon as it is- but I am excited that it is coming, just the same.
I am also slightly less disappointed about the fact that I have to be in CA for 10 days after camp is over, because I have been succeeding, I believe, in talking my sister Brita into coming out to CA for her birthday, which is right after camp ends.. .and spending that last week with me... :-) that would be a lot of fun...

So many things have been happening... and it is now time for me to sleep... or rather, my sister wants to turn off the light... :-)

Lovely evening...

2006-05-17T22:29:00.000-05:00

Done with finals for they semester, went down to the Late Night Breakfast Feast in the basement.. at some French Toast... :-) and watermelon... talked to my friend Jenny, who I don't actually get to talk to very much- seems that she is usually closed up in her room or something... or else I am busy... but that was fun...

I am glad I am done with finals... but at the same time, I am sad- because I really do like this environment and all of the nice girls here- and I just don't want it to end!

But Fall will come quickly enough... :-)

~Danette

yay... my final is done!

2006-05-17T00:16:00.000-05:00

My Anthropology Final is written, and sent off to my teacher. I also played around with this nifty feature on Goolge- Google Page creator.. it even has free web-hosting.. .so play around with it... doesn't look like there are even any ads on there!
so yeah- my anthropology final is posted on Google pages... :-) Yeah- I know that's kind of geeky...
(click on the title to reach the page..)

:)

Danette

But for the grace of God....

2006-05-15T09:52:00.000-05:00

Oh wow.

Yesterday and today I made a couple of major blunders... and God was far, far too merciful to me, in keeping them from affecting me.

First of all, yesterday I forgot to move my car from its spot in the resident lots (where I could have it during the weekend, but not during the week, since I don't have the right permit) to a student lot on lower-campus.. I realized this at 1:30 in the morning... and seriously contemplated moving it... but then I decided that if I were to move it, I wouldn't have had enough sleep last night, and then I would feel dead during my finals today- so I decided that I would just deal with getting a ticket on my car- it would only be five dollars, after all... (never mind that I only have $4.50 to my name...)
My alarm went off at 6:55 in the morning, and I switched it off, and lay back to wake up... I didn't. I fell asleep. But in my switching off of the alarm clock, I somehow managed to switch the SECOND alarm on- which buzzed promptly at 7:45... 15 minutes until my first final of the day.
I did not grab my backpack, or anything... and I didn't shower, wash my face, brush my teeth, etc... I used some mouthwash, brushed my hair, got dressed.. and ran outside... to my car, which just because of my stupidity the day before... was in the parking lot outside of my dorm... WITHOUT a ticket!
I was nearly two hours past the ending of the "permit-free" parking... (Friday 3pm, through Monday 6AM) and my car did not have a ticket. I climbed in, and drove the path that brought me past the top of the hill... and it was open??
Open? It is NEVER open at 7:50AM... but it was. So I got to take the short-cut route, of driving down the hill, rather than having to get on Clairemont and driving around the campus and down.
Furthermore, at this time of the morning, it was nigh impossible that I would find a parking place in the Phillips parking lot, because it's the most convenient parking lot on lower-campus... but with everything else God was doing for me... I decided to check it out. So I did... and then I was amazed again- as I found a parking place right away.
Then, I realized I didn't have a pen with me- and for finals, I definitely needed a pen! But there, on the floor of my car, was a pen- actually a nice one, that works, and I liked!

When I got to the building my final was in, one of my classmates was standing outside- the class hadn't started yet... and so I went climbing up the stairs, to my ENGL 225 class... and to make everything even better- my teacher brought breakfast to class- bagels and donuts and juice and cream cheese. :-D

My final went wonderfully, too. There was one question that I didn't know.... but most of them were easy- and my essay topic was something that I was familiar with discussing- free speech on college campuses- and my teacher even let us use our books! I had left my book (and my whole backpack, for that matter) in my dorm- but my teacher had an extra copy of the book sitting out :) So I had one to use.

So to recapture: God gave me way more grace than I deserved for all of my stupidity this morning... and I am so thankful!

icky.

2006-05-13T16:08:00.000-05:00

I am being delinquent, and taking a quick break from studying.. I am going through all of my notes and things for a paper I have to write by Wednesday... ick. I guess I will get to write it mostly tonight, and then finish up tomorrow... wait- oh yeah- I have Tuesday, as well.. yay!
yuck. I have too much to do- a lot of articles to go through and read, and high-light things in, and then make notes of what I highlighted, and then put it all together in the paper... my essay question?

Why is the question of bilingual education for LEP (Limited English Proficiency) students such an emotional issue? What are the main arguments raised by proponents and opponents?

not that hard to reiterate for my teacher... but try to make me cite references for it? eew. And not being able to write in first-person voice? eeww again. I am glad that I still have time to write it...

Gotta get back to the paper- even if I don't want to... :-(

about homeschooling...

2006-05-13T13:46:00.000-05:00

I had someone post a comment on my blog about homeschooling- saying that her husband was concerned about the social aspect of homeschooling... so I am posting this entry to assuage any doubts about the subject.

http://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/Socialization.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/hshb/30/hshb3011.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000068.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/washingtontimes/200406010.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/washingtontimes/familytimes/199706100.asp
http://nche.hslda.org/docs/news/washingtontimes/familytimes/200006060.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/ray1997/default.asp

These are all good articles from the Homeschool Legal Defense Association, that talk about socialization, and why/how well homeschooling works...

Socialization isn't an issue- if anything, being homeschooled has helped me develop better social skills to interact with adults, instead of just with my peers- and I will be an adult much longer than I have been a child... so why is the childhood socialization (learning to be part of the "grade" herd) so important? It just means that I didn't get seduced in high-school, or middle-school, or have to deal with people doing drugs and being immoral- I got grounded firmly in my faith at home.. and now I am at a public university- and what an experience it is. Everyone is always aghast at how easy I say it was to adjust to college life.

http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000017.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000001/00000147.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/hslda/200204301.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/hslda/200301/200301310.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000002/00000229.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/hslda/200301/200301161.asp

these are documents showing how homeschoolers do in college, and how it is to get into a college, as a homeschooler.

The following articles have to do with statistics concerning homeschooling, and the academic ability of homeschoolers.
http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000010/200410250.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/rudner1999/default.asp
http://www.hslda.org/research/default.asp
http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/comp2001/default.asp
http://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/HomeschoolingGrowsUp.pdf
http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/comp2001/HomeSchoolAchievement.pdf

Note: even though all of these addresses begin with "HSLDA".. that does not mean they are all written by the same people, nor are they all from the same place- but HSLDA has done a good job of compiling this information.. so I use their site.

Have fun reading thist stuff.. :-)

~Danette

Almost there.

2006-05-13T10:25:00.000-05:00

Finals are two days away... Five days from now, I will be done with them entirely. My schedule is as follows...

Monday, 8AM: ENGL 225 final- and BREAKFAST! my teacher's bringing breakfast! (can you tell I am actually looking FORWARD to this?) (cumulative- vocabulary)
Monday, 10AM: CSD 378 "final"- we meet because we have to... but we had our final test this past Thursday. (was cumulative)
Monday, 1:30PM: MUSI 108 "proficiency"- piano proficiency- takes a grand total of: 10 minutes. (cumulative)
Monday, 7PM: ANTH 315-not final... final time, and the time when I have to turn in a paper to my teacher.
Wednesday, 3PM: ENGL 125 final- what fun... cumulative Grammar....
Wednesday, 7PM: BIO 196 final- non-cumulative, nutrition.
Lovely... after this I am done- except that Thursday, I have to work... from 9AM to 2PM, on Thursday... I wish I didn't... but oh well. I get paid for it.

The cafeteria has opened for breakfast... so I am going to go and eat some food.

~Danette

some funny things that you more likely than not, will not "get"...

2006-05-09T20:57:00.000-05:00

Not all of these are completely true of every home-schooled person..... a lot are not true of me myself... but I know people for whom they are..... :)

~Danette

(if you want to learn more about homeschooling... ask me- because I have a whole document I've put together talking about it- complete with government statistics proving that homeschooling provides a better education on average than public schools)

You know you’re a homeschooler if:
Your walk to school means just going downstairs.
You end up doing more schoolwork on snowdays because you’re snowed in.
You can't do a Jumping Jack to save your life!
Your “school desk” is the dining room table, the kitchen counter, the car, or the floor!
Your classmates range from 20 to 2.
Your foreign exchange student is an Australian Shepherd.
Your teacher can't send you to the principal’s office because he isn't home from work yet!
You have ever "gone" to school in your pajamas/nightgown. LOL! Plus, if you are sick, if you don't feel too bad, you can still do school, cuz you can lay down and rest anytime!
You get excited to go to the orthodontist!!! (You get to get out of the house!)
Your penpals are some of your best friends!!!
Your linen closet is filled with school books.
You own more than four bookshelves.
You can choose to have recess at any time.
You don't have to get a pass to go to the bathroom!
The walk to school is 20 feet from your bedroom.
You get along better with adults than with children your own age.
You have an unusually large vocabulary.
You have no idea what a track and field day is.
You go all day without leaving the house.
Your electric pencil sharpener has also been used to sharpen crayons, AND carrots.
Your siblings all started reading at eighteen months
You wake up in the morning, get dressed, and when you go to the kitchen for breakfast, you find out that you not only match your sister(s) but your mom also!
You sleep in till 9 am on weekdays but get up at 7 am on Sundays.
You enjoy the pastime of watching public school kids walk home from school.
The teacher can kiss the principal, and no one thinks it's unusual.
You have ever finished your schoolwork before breakfast.
Shop class includes watching your brother fix his car.
You actually want to receive books on your birthday.
When people ask you where you go to school and you say the name of a school they've never heard of and wait awhile to tell them that that is the name of your homeschool.
If people find out that your mother teaches 6 grades.
The only people you know are your mom's friends or people from your church :)
The people in your 'class' are all in different grades than you.
You can do a good joke on your newest friends with homeschool. They ask what school your from and you can say "I don't GO to school." I did that once and shocked the life out of him
Your idea of a fun time with your family is combing over battle fields!
A trip to a history museum is the highlight of your school year!
You do Earth Science and astronomy from your van on the way to the Grand Canyon.
You have your diploma BEFORE your divers license!
Your stack of books to check out is taller than the librarian
Your father has ever told the check out lady at Wal-Mart, "We're on a field trip"
You have to move dirty laundry off your desk before you can start school
The signatures on your diploma all end with the same last name
Your first real date is on your honeymoon
Your yearbook is also your baby book
A snow day means you shovel the driveway after you finish your school work
You have to look at the clock to see if you can call your public school friends yet
You have to decide what year you want to graduate
You get to school and the teacher asks you if you've done all your chores
If your bedroom floor is littered with "home” work.
If when people ask what school you go to you say “I don’t know.”
If you spend more time doing school work then playing.
If you have a better relationship with your parents then your friends.
If when you say I do Abeka people think you are nuts.
You think that Anglo Saxon is a math book.
If your dining room table is used for a desk, science experiments, and every once and awhile, a place to eat.
If when someone asks you what grade you are in you can't remember.
You are one of the best people in the world!  